Renza nodded while I talked, like he understood, but he didn’t say much. When I was done, he let out a low sigh through his nose and rubbed his hands together.
I watched him for a second before I spoke again.
“How you feel about this?” I asked.
He looked up at me, and for the first time since he got there, our eyes really locked.
“I don’t wanna say the wrong thing,” he said.
I frowned a little, not even knowin’ how to take that.
“Then just say what you feel,” I told him.
He leaned forward, restin’ his elbows on his knees, and looked down for a second before speakin’.
“I can’t tell you what to do with your body,” he said. “If you don’t wanna keep it, then… you don’t have to.”
I stared at him, tryin’ to read him, but he wasn’t givin’ me much.
“And if I did keep it?” I asked.
He looked back up at me.
“Then I’m here,” he said. “For you and the baby. Through the pregnancy… all that.”
I nodded slow, but somethin’ about that didn’t sit right with me.
“And after?” I asked.
He hesitated, just for a second.
“I’m still here,” he replied.
I raised my brows a little. “That’s it?” I asked.
“I’m just followin’ your lead on the situation,” he said.
That shit kinda cut me. I looked away from him, runnin’ my fingers through my hair as I tried to keep myself together.
“Why you don’t ever wanna lead anything?” I asked low.
That made him sit up a little straighter.
“It’s not that,” he said. “But what am I leadin’ if you already bought the pills? It sound like you made your decision.”
He wasn’t wrong, but at the same time, it still hurt.
“It just feel like you checked out,” I said.
He looked at me again, this time a little deeper.
“What you want me to do?” he asked.
That question sat between us because the truth was… I wanted him to say don’t do it. I wanted him to reach for me. I wanted him to make it feel like this meant somethin’ to him the way it did to me, but I wasn’t about to beg him for that.
Instead, I just looked at him, then back at the box. After a moment, I let out a slow breath and nodded to myself.
“I’m just… gon’ take it,” I said.
