I sat on the edge of the bed, textin’ Renza to let him know what went down between me and Pluto. My thumbs hovered over the screen for a second before I hit send, because even though I knew I wasn’t wrong, I already knew how this was gon’ go. A few seconds later, my phone buzzed in my hand, and all it said was that he knew, he heard, and he’d be in the room in a minute.
A minute turned into thirty…
By the time the door finally opened, I had already replayed everything in my head more times than I could count, and none of it sat right with me.
Renza finally walked in, lookin’ like he always did when he stepped out. He was put together too damn well, smellin’ good with a drink in his hand, but the look on his face told me everything before he even said a word. He looked irritated, like he was already over whatever this conversation was about to turn into.
I didn’t say nothin’ at first, and neither did he. The silence stretched out in a way that made me feel like I was the one in trouble, and like I had to pick my words carefully even though I wasn’t the one who started any of this.
I wasn’t used to feelin’ like I had to walk on eggshells around a man I was dealin’ with, but that’s exactly what it felt like in this moment.
The only thing that came to my mind was the truth.
“I’m ready to go home,” I said, my voice low but clear.
Renza let out a breath and shook his head, like he already knew that was comin’ but didn’t feel like dealin’ with it. “Reni… we in the middle of the ocean,” he said, lookin’ at me now. “We not gettin’ back until two more days.”
I already knew that, but that didn’t mean I liked it.
I pressed my lips together and looked away, not sayin’ nothin’ else because there wasn’t nothin’ I could say to change that.
The room got quiet again, but this time it didn’t feel the same. Renza wasn’t sayin’ nothin’, but I could tell he was thinkin’, and the way he moved told me he was already tired of the whole situation.
I watched him walk over to the recliner and sit down, his body sinkin’ into it while he took a sip from his drink. He ran his hand down his face slow, like he was tryin’ to collect himselfbefore he said anything else, and for a second, I almost didn’t even wanna say nothin’ else. But the shit was already out there, and I wasn’t about to just sit here like it didn’t happen.
“She got a problem with me,” I said, finally breakin’ the silence.
He didn’t even look up right away. He took another sip, then leaned his head back for a second before he spoke. “Pluto don’t have a problem with you,” he said, calm but flat. “She never did.”
I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself. I didn’t even have the energy to go back and forth about it no more because every time I tried to explain it, it felt like I was talkin’ in circles. “Whatever,” I muttered, lookin’ off.
Normally, Renza would’ve said more. He would’ve got up, came over to me, tried to talk it through and tried to fix it like he always did, but this time he didn’t.
He just stood up with his drink still in his hand, nodded once like he was done and said, “A’ight then,” before turnin’ and walkin’ right out the room like that was the end of it.
I sat for a second, starin’ at the door like I was waitin’ for him to come back, but he didn’t. The silence that settled in after that felt heavier than anything we had just said to each other, and it hit me hard as fuck because it hurt.
As far as I was concerned, this was the worst trip I had ever been on.
Everything about it felt off. The way I had been treated, the way things kept goin’ and the way me and Renza had been movin’ around each other like we didn’t have a problem when we clearly did. That shit weighed on me more than I wanted to admit, and sittin’ here by myself in this room made it worse.
I grabbed my phone and called Mecca without even thinkin’ about it because I needed to talk to somebody who actually understood me. The call didn’t go through at first, and I frownedwhile I pulled the phone away to check the signal before tryin’ again, but it still didn’t connect.
I stood up and moved around the room, then stepped out on the balcony, holdin’ my phone up like that was goim’ to make a difference, even though I already knew how far out we were. I tried again and watched the screen, waitin’ for it to go through, but it didn’t, so I tried one more time, pressin’ my lips together while that same irritated feeling sat heavy on me.
It took damn near an hour before the call finally started ringin’. The second I heard it connect, I felt somethin’ in my chest loosen just a little.
“Hello?” Mecca’s voice came through, and just hearin’ her made everything I had been holdin’ in start pushin’ up to the surface.
I turned away from the door and wiped my face quick before I spoke, but my voice still came out thicker than I wanted it to. “Mecca…”
She paused for half a second. “What’s wrong?”
I let out a breath and shook my head, even though she couldn’t see me. “Me and Pluto got into it for real,” I said, wipin’ under my eyes again. “Like… really into it.”
“What happened?” she asked.
I started tellin’ her everything about how Pluto had been movin’ since we got on the boat, how she kept suggestin’ shit and everything somehow ended up goin’ her way and how nobody ever said nothin’ about it. I told her about the game and how every time I got somethin’ wrong about Renza, Pluto had to jump in and correct it in front of everybody like that shit was cute.
