“You are loyal,” Cassian said with a deep sigh. “And I do not doubt that all you have done is with an eye toward helping me.”
“It is my charge, Your Grace.”
“So…” He made sure to be looking right at Mr. Pemberton so that the man had nowhere to hide. “I take it that is why you helped to cover Isolde’s lies for her? And why you saw fit to lie to me, too?”
Mr. Pemberton’s eyes widened and his composure dropped.
“Do not deny it,” Cassian hurried before his steward had a chance to say anything. “I have thought on this quite a bit, and the only way any of it makes sense is if you lied for her. When I told you that we were engaged, you must have known it to be false. Yet you did nothing to stop it.” He looked pointedly at Mr. Pemberton. “I want to know why.”
“I…” Mr. Pemberton swallowed and it was the first time the man had looked anything close to afraid. “I did as I thought was best.”
“Meaning?”
“When you first told me of the engagement, you must understand that I was still coming to terms with your malady. At first, I thought it best not to do or say anything that might upset you.”
“So, you were scared of me?”
“No, Your Grace!”
“You were,” Cassian said bitterly. “It is a theme I am starting to see too often. I ran this manor using fear as my whip, such that even my most loyal steward was terrified to say something that he thought might find him in my ire.”
Cassian’s body slumped as if a weight pushed down on his shoulders. Slowly, the pieces came together, a picture formed, and it was a most frightening portrait to look upon.
More frightening still was the final question that Cassian had to ask his steward, the very one that would determine who he truly was and the reason for it.
Before he had a chance to ask that question, Mr. Pemberton spoke up.
“I lied because I was worried about you, Your Grace. Because?—”
“You lied because you were worried about what I would do to you,” Cassian snapped.
“Please!” Mr. Pemberton said harshly. “Allow me to…” He grimaced, sighed, and looked pleadingly at Cassian. “Please, allow me to finish. It was never my intention to maintain the lie. Once we arrived back at the estate, I spoke with Her Grace and asked for the truth. Immediately, I suspected that she was lying about who she was, and while I still planned to expose her, I came to realize…” A smile touched his lips, and he shook his head to himself.
“You realized what?”
“That she was good for you, Your Grace,” he said simply. “She made you smile. She made you laugh. And when you spoke of her, it reminded me of the man I used to know. The boy you once were. She made you happy in ways I had not seen in years, and I thought that to keep her by your side might just…” His chin began to wobble. “It might help you return to who I know you are, deep down inside. Yes, you have a reputation that is earned. Yes, you are strict and sometimes harsh. But that is not the true you, and Her Grace reminded me of that fact. That is why I lied.”
“The true me?” Cassian shook his head. “Again, I am told who I should be, and not who I really am.”
“Even you do not know who you are,” Mr. Pemberton said. “But that is a gift, Your Grace. At first, I thought the accident to be a tragedy, but I am beginning to see it in another light. Few menhave a real chance for a fresh start. Few men have a chance to be more than they believe themselves to be.”
“But do I deserve such a thing?” Cassian said.
“What—”
“I have one more question, Mr. Pemberton, and in this I urge you not to lie.” He let that settle as he found the steward’s eyes again. The temperature in the room dropped, darkness fell, and Cassian was the cause. “Did I kill my brother?”
“Wh—what?” Mr. Pemberton started.
“You heard me,” he said. “Did I kill my brother?”
“I… that is not… it is not nearly that simple.”
“Make it that simple.”
“I cannot say for sure what happened.” He took a deep breath. “Only what I have been told. You were nineteen when Julian died, and it is a day that I will never forget.”
Memories washed over Cassian as Mr. Pemberton spoke. Nothing that was clear. Nothing he could make sense of. Images of a storm raging across the estate. The sounds of screaming. And pain felt in Cassian’s chest that had him clutching his heart as if it might break in two.
