“Sorry,” I mumbled.
She leaned into me once more. “Maverick. I’m sorry. For last Christmas. For two months ago. For everything. I just…I want to start over. I want you.” Her words, her eyes, her touch were pleading. “Are you really gonna have a baby with some random girl you don’t even know? You know me. You love me.” She pressed a hand to my chest, tears slipping down her pale cheeks. “Is that what you want? A baby? Marriage? I can give you that. I can be everything she is and more for you, Mav. Please. Just give me a chance. I love you. I really do.”
I pursed my lips, my head falling back to rest on the night sky above. I let my eyelids flutter closed for a long moment as her words rolled over me.
“Mav…” Ashleigh’s voice was weak, pleading. “Say something.”
I sucked in a deep breath and met her brown gaze. It was crazy to think this was the same girl who’d come to one of her mother’s therapy sessions at the Mooneys. Who’d talked to me so animatedly and innocently about the new emo band she’d discovered. Who’d all but shoved one of her headphones into my hands and urged me to listen. It was I Caught Fire by The Used. I think I’d fallen in love with her right then and there. She’d been the first person to treat me normal besides Cash and the rest of the family.
Was there even a shred of that girl still in the woman standing before me? Or had she disappeared along time ago, and I’d just been trying to convince myself she was still there?
“You know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those things? How long I wanted to marry you. Start a family with you…”
Something shifted in her gaze, lightening the dark depths. Hope.
I went on before she could speak. “I wanted forever with you, Ashleigh…but not now. Not anymore.”
Tears welled in her eyes before falling down her cheeks. A broken, choked sob escaped her. “Wh-what? But…but… You’re gonna throw this all away? Throwusaway after all this time?”
I wiped at her tears. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t love her anymore. I realized that the moment Cheyenne touched my arm and walked into the barn. But I still cared about Ashleigh, and I hated seeing her hurt, especially at my expense.
“Ash…” I sighed. “You and I both know we’re never gonna work. Our story’s been over for quite some time now. Both of us were just too stubborn to let go.”
Anger sparked in her gaze like the flame to a match. She batted my hand away from her cheek, her words filled with venom as she spat, “Couple months with this bitch and suddenly you're in love? No. I don’t believe that.”
I shrugged. “Believe it or don’t… but she’s my story now.”
She seethed, her jaw clenching tight, her entire demeanor changing from pleading to pissed in a heartbeat. “I drove all the way fucking down here for this?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, meaning every word. I was sorry for everything. For the years of back and forth between us. For holding on so tightly when I should have just let her go. “I can give you money for gas if you need.” She glared at me but said nothing so I continued on. “I hope you find someone who makes you happy, Ashleigh. Lord knows it’s never been me.”
“Go to hell, Maverick.” She stomped back to her car, opening and slamming her door shut, before peeling out as she reversed and turned around on the gravel road.
Just like that, she was gone.
“Goodbye, Ashleigh.”
I watched her taillights dwindle down the road before disappearing all together. All the while, waiting for the sadness, the devastation to grip me like it did every time she left.
But there was none of that. Only anger. Anger that swelled and raged within me like a hurricane. Twenty years. Damn near twenty years I’d wasted on her. Twenty years of letting her use me, letting her hurt me, all just to feel a shrivel of her love. And when I was finally done, when I finally decided to move on, she was ready to give it—give that love I had wanted so badly for so long.
But her and I both knew she didn’t mean anything she’d just said.
She didn’t want a marriage. She didn’t want a baby. She didn’t want horses or a ranch or any of that. She just didn’t want anyone else to have me.
I sucked in a deep breath and looked skyward, counting stars as I tried to calm my angry heart. But it did nothing. Releasing the breath slowly, I settled my sights on the barn.
Charlie, Cash, Cason, and Cheyenne were all there working in quiet silence. They’d been listening; I wasn’t an idiot. It didn’t take Cash anywhere near this long to untack and brush down Playboy. I would give it to Cheyenne that itmaytake her this long, only because Black Betty was cinchy and temperamental.
But the tell-tale sign they all knew, beyond how slow they were, was the fact no one would look me in the eye, save Cason, who barreled up and asked, “Who was that lady? She owes me money for the swear jar.”
Even sweet Cason couldn’t quell the anger bubbling up inside me. I shouldn’t have come in here. Seeing all their faces, their worried glances cast my way—I hated it.
I put on my best fake grin, and tousled what was left of Cason’s hair. “She’s no one, bud.” Pulling my wallet out of my back pocket, I grabbed a twenty and held it out to him. “Here. Tonight’s payment for the swear jar.”
Cason’s eyes lit up as he snatched the cash out of my hand. “Auntie Charlotte. Look!”
Charlie finally met my gaze as she came to his side, offering me a soft, knowing smile. She’d had a shitty ex too. She understood the hold and toll they had. “Wow. Look at that, bud!” Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, she said, “We gotta get you cleaned up and in bed.”
