The line crackled as she exhaled a breath. “I’m sorry, Mav. Really. I just…forgot. Time slipped away from me and it’s just too late to come now.”
I didn’t mention the fact I’d lost count of how many times I’d dropped what I was doin’ right then and there to drive to her whenever she called. It wouldn’t do any good anyway.
“No, it’s okay, I get it…” I hung my head, kicking at a clump of shavings that’d fallen in the breezeway. Little pieces scattered around, fluttering on the breeze, looking about as pathetic and helpless as I felt.
“Maybe let’s try for next week?” she asked, her voice still holding that airy note to it, but she sounded rushed… As if she were trying to get me off the phone.
I found myself replying yes. I didn’t say that the reason I’d specifically asked for tonight was because I didn’t want to be alone. Didn’t want to have to relive the memories of this day from all those years ago.
She knew what today was. At least, she should.
The anniversary of when my family died. The dayIalmost died. Phantom flames licked up my arms at the thought. I bit back a curse, rubbing my free hand over my left arm, feeling the scars hidden beneath my long sleeves.
She didn’t say anything now, though. Maybe she didn’t remember. Twenty years was a long time ago, after all. But it still felt raw, fresh in my mind.
“I gotta go, Mav, but I’ll call you later, okay?” No doubt about it now, shewastrying to get me off the phone.
I mumbled a goodbye, lowering the phone from my ear just as a male’s voice picked up on the other end of the line. “Who was that, babe?”
The sound of the next word on Ashleigh’s lips sent a spear of ice straight through my heart. “Nobody.”
My thumb fumbled for theendbutton, the blood in my veins turning to ice.Nobody. That was almost worse than catching her two timing me…again.
Crushing defeat settled on my chest, spearing and twisting in my heart like a blade. My pulse thrummed in my ears as I dipped my head in shame.
I should have known. Should have known this would happen. It always did. It was the same ol’ story with her and I. The same cycle. The same game of cat and mouse. And yet, I couldn’t let her go. Aside from the Mooneys, Ashleigh had been the first person I’d made a connection with after losing my family.
She’d been my first everything, really. First friend. First kiss. First love.
My emotions warred within me like a hurricane—wild and raging. I hated this feeling. Hated feeling so out of control.
Fisting my hands at my sides, I made my way towards the stairs leading up to the hayloft we’d converted into a workout room. I didn’t bother taking off my shirt or hat as I stomped over to the punching bag. Didn’t bother wrapping up my hands. Settling into a defensive stance, I centered my breathing and began punching.
Idon’t know howmuch time passed. It could have been five minutes or five hours, but when I finally pressed my head against the punching bag, sweat coated my brow and blood stained my knuckles.
Ryder and Cash were right. She’d only ever need me until the next best thing came around. I’d been a fool to let her in. A fool to think things had changed.
That’s the last time.
As much as it hurt, I needed to put her in the past.
Cash would be happy to hear that, at least. I thought of him and how he’d stormed out of the barn. There wasn’t much that disappointed him. So, when something did…especially somethingI did…fuck, it stung.
Good thing about Cash was he had a short attention span. He didn’t stay angry for long.
Blowing out a breath, I glanced down at my phone. 5:05 PM. They probably wouldn’t leave for another hour or so. I might be able to still join them.
Thumbing through my phone for Cash’s name, I called him, not even bothering with a greeting as he said hello. “Y’all need a driver still?”
Iblew out abreath as Ryder pulled up to Cowboy’s, the neon sign glowing like a beacon. Trucks lined the parking lot, while people milled in and out of the dance hall and bar. Plumes of smoke dissipated into the night air from those puffing on cigarettes and vape pens.
My stomach did a flip flop even as Cash clapped his hands together in the back seat, that million-dollar grin curling his lips. “It’s gonna be a good night!”
I wasn’t quite as optimistic as him, but I was here, so figured I might as well try to make the most of it. Charlie and Ryder were lost in their own world, hardly paying Cash or I any attention. A pang shot through my heart. I wanted what they had. The way Ryder looked at her…and the way she looked right back. They were like two magnets, drawn to one another. You couldfeelthe pull they shared.
I wished mine and Ashleigh’s connection had been that strong, that pure. Ours was just toxic.
Stop thinkin’ about her.
