“Really?” I sniffled.
She nodded, taking a seat on one of the mounting blocks in the shade. “Oh, yeah. He knew before I even had a chance to tell Ryder. Thank God it was him and not Cash, or there would’ve been no way to keep that secret until Ryder got back.”
My mouth twitched into the ghost of a grin, but it died just as quickly as Charlie asked, “How far along are you?”
I took a slow, deep breath. “Ten weeks.”
I didn’t miss the surprise that washed over her face, but to her credit, she tried to hide it well. “You don’t want to keep it, do you?” There was sadness in her voice, but no judgment. Same as Maverick.
A lump lodged in my throat, holding the air in my lungs hostage. I lifted my shoulders as I tried and failed to come up with what to say. How could I make her understand that it wasn’t even so much a question of want. I simplycouldn’t. I couldn’t keep this baby. I had no business keeping this baby. But if I tried to explain, would she understand that? She was pregnant herself, and keeping it.
“I’m scared,” I finally managed to admit, the sound little more than a hushed squeak.
She reached a hand out, gesturing for me to sit down beside her. I did, and for a long moment we just stayed there, shoulder to shoulder in silence.
“You know, when I found out I was pregnant, I cried for like a solid five hours.” She huffed a laugh, playing with her engagement ring. “Thank God, Cason was still in school, because there was no way in hell I would have been able to keep my shit together if he were there.”
“You were upset?” I asked, turning to look at her.
She met my gaze. “It’s not that. I was. Iam…happybut there was a part of me—there still is, really—that was absolutely fucking petrified.”
“But you and Ryder are together. You’re gettin’ married.”
“Yeah, and I absolutely want to start a family with him, but I wasn’t anticipating it being quite so quickly. I mean, we’re still trying to figure out how to parent Cason, and now we’re just throwing another kid into the mix. Not to mention, the fact wearen’tmarried yet, and I am not giving up my dream wedding to have some courthouse ceremony because I’m scared of what these old Karens at church have to say about Ryder and I having this baby out of wedlock.”
Charlie blew out a breath, causing the wispy bangs framing her face to blow up in the makeshift breeze as she rolled her eyes. “I’m also terrified of how my body’s gonna change. I’ve grown up with a mother whose been hounding me about my weight all my life, and I can’t wait to hear the bullshit she has to say when I startshowing…” When she looked at me, her stormy eyes swirled with emotion.
I hadn’t even thought of any of that. She seemed so ecstatic about the whole thing. She was glowing. Happy. Even though she didn’t have a bump yet, there was just something…differentabout her. The way she held herself, she was changed and confident. I never would have thought she was terrified…then again, I’d never thought to ask.
It’s like she read my thoughts. “I’m allowed to be scared, but also ridiculously happy to be having this baby. Is it ideal timing? No. Am I prepared at all? Hell no…but as long as I have Ryder, I know we’ll make it work.”
“I wish I had that,” I admitted. I just had a baby daddy who literally threatened me.
Charlie’s gaze turned sympathetic…but also a bit hopeful. “You have Mav…if you want him.”
A deep, shuddering breath went through me. “It’s not the same. I’m having someone else’s baby. What if he gets tired of taking responsibility for someone who isn’t even his? What if he resents me? What if he doesn’t even want me anymore?” Hot tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Have you asked him any of this?”
I shook my head.
“Talk to him.” She placed a reassuring hand on my leg. “Maverick is probably the kindest, most loyal, most good man I know. He’s also not an idiot, and he’d be an idiot to let you slip through hisfingers because of this.” She pegged me in place with her pleading stare.
“It’s not just Maverick,” I admitted, my voice faltering.
“Then what is it?”
I told her about Nate. About the threat. About what he’d done to my trailer. “If he finds out, Charlie… I don’t know what he’ll do.”
Charlie pursed her lips, concern, understanding, and sympathy washing over her. She blew out a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine being in that position.”
I met her gaze. “What would you do?”
“Me?” She shook her head, her mouth falling open only to shut once more before opening back up again. “I’d like to say that I wouldn’t let that dickhead have any say in my decision. But…” She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”
I nodded. Not the answer I wanted, but then again, I couldn’t expect her to answer that.
“But I do know one thing…” She glanced down at my stomach. “Thatbaby is yours. No one else gets to decide what you do with your body but you. Not your asshole ex. Not Maverick. Not me. Not any stupid Karen that tries to make you feel guilty or worthless. You decide what’s best for you. And if you’re not ready to be a mom, well that’s no one’s damn business but yours.”
