“I’m good at this,” she said.
“You’re good at many things most ladies aren’t so good at, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know,” Prudence admitted. “That’s probably a fair assessment. But I don’t tend to think about things like that. I just do what I want to do without worrying about others very much. She blushed slightly. “What I mean is… I’m not saying I don’t care how my actions impact people. I only meant that I don’t care how I’m perceived.”
“Yes, that I had noticed,” he observed with a smile. “But you say that you do care how your actions impact people?”
“Well, of course,” she said. “Did you have the impression that I didn’t care about that?”
“I don’t mean to be critical, but I do see you prioritizing your own happiness over what might be considered…advisable,” he pointed out. “Surely you must see that.”
She chuckled. “I suppose I do. I would never do anything tohurtanother person. But if I feel that the people around me have chosen odd priorities for themselves, I’m not ashamed to saythat my choices ought to take precedence. I don’t have a problem with doing something you don’t like just because it might tarnish your reputation. I think you can survive a little damage to your reputation.”
“And what makes you so confident of that?” he asked.
“You’re a very strong person,” she said. “Surely you can survive almost anything.”
Leonard tried to ignore the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach at the compliment. Did she really mean that? He thought she probably did—what would idle flattery gain her at a time like this? “Even if that’s true,” he said, “that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to go through something like that.”
“I don’t know,” she countered. “When my sisters and I were young, our reputations were pretty bad. It wasn’t our fault. Our father’s gambling debts and bad business investments put us in a difficult position, we couldn’t keep up with the other ladies of society, and the talk about us was never flattering.” She moved another piece. “The thing is, even though that was difficult, it made us strong. It made me into someone who doesn’t hesitate to go after the things that I want, and that’s the kind of person I want to be.”
He sat back and regarded her for the first time with admiration. Not astonishment or consternation, the way he usually felt when he looked at her. He was truly inspired. She had taken hardship in her life and found a way to turn it into strength.
For a moment, it made him question whether he was being too harsh with her. She couldn’t be allowed to go out dressed as a man, of course, but he could have been more easygoing when he’d learned what she was doing. She had only been trying to have a good time after all, and was that really so wrong?
For a few moments, the two of them moved their pieces along the board in silence.
Then Prudence sat up straighter, a gleam in her eye. Leonard felt a sinking in the pit of his stomach, even though he didn’t know exactly why, as she picked up a bishop and set it down with authority.
She sat back in her chair and gazed at him, obvious satisfaction written across her face as he looked from her to the board and back.
“It’s checkmate,” she told him. “I guess your winning streak is broken.”
CHAPTER 17
“How do you like the duck?” Leonard wanted to know.
“Duck is my favorite,” Prudence admitted. “I thought for sure you must have known that. It’s too great a coincidence that you served it tonight without realizing.”
“No, I had no idea,” Leonard told her. “I suppose I might have reached out to one of your sisters to find out what you liked best, but I can’t claim credit for having done so. The truth is that it would never have occurred to me.”
“I suppose we got lucky then,” Prudence said. “At least, I did. I so rarely have gotten to enjoy duck in my life.”
“Why not?” Leonard asked her. “If it’s your favorite, surely your family would have prepared it for you more.”
“We didn’t have money,” she reminded him. “Not that duck is the most expensive meal a person might choose, but it’s not thecheapest either, and when your family is struggling financially, you often don’t have the ability to choose what you’d most like to have. Of course, my father would have arranged for it to be served whether we could afford it or not which meant I could never tell him how much I liked it.”
“Your father must have cared a great deal for you,” Leonard reasoned, “if he was willing to allow your preferences to take precedence over what was practical.”
“My father cared a great deal for appearances,” Prudence corrected him. “He would never have wanted to be the kind of man who couldn’t put his family’s favorite dishes on the table because he would have felt there was shame in that.”
“Well, I suppose I feel the same way, when you get right down to it,” Leonard admitted. “Itdoesseem shameful for a man not to be able to provide the things his family wishes for. I would be ashamed of that.”
“I think it’s more important for a man to prioritize providing what his familyneeds,” Prudence said. “We didn’t need luxuries. We needed to eat. And we also needed to know that we would be able to go on affording our meals. So, my sisters and I found ourselves forced to lie about what we liked. We came up with inexpensive options and insisted they were our favorites.”
“You shouldn’t have had to lie,” Leonard frowned. “That’s not a reasonable thing for a man to ask of his family.”
“He didn’t ask it,” Prudence pointed out.
