“But my main motive for making the arrangement was, as you suggest, to ensure his future. I’ve begun to see, as time has gone on, how difficult it’s going to be to make a good match for my brother. He’s such a difficult person. I can hardly blame well-bred young ladies for not wishing to marry him. Peter is always in trouble, and he refuses to change. So even though the situation was scandalous, when I thought he was going to marry you, I was relieved. Finally, he would have been taken care of.”
Her face had gone pale. “It isn’t your responsibility, though,” she argued. “To see your brother married. That isn’t something you should have to take on. You’re his brother, not his parent, and he is an adult after all. He can manage to sort out his own affairs, surely.”
“He won’t, though,” Leonard said. “He doesn’t take these things seriously enough. You know, I always swore to myself that Iwould sort out Peter before marrying myself. So in a way, our marriage represents a failure on my part as much as it does on yours because I never meant for things to happen this way any more than you did. I always told myself that once Peter was taken care of, I would do whatever my heart desired, but that until that day came, he would simply have to come first.”
“You remind me of my own sisters,” Prudence said.
“Do I? They both married before you did.”
“Yes, but neither of them really planned it that way either,” Prudence explained. “They both would have been willing to let me be the first down the aisle. They both worried more for my well-being than they ever did for themselves. They were wonderful to me. So protective, so caring. I don’t believe that all older brothers and sisters are that way, but those of us who are lucky enough to have siblings care for us that deeply will never forget it.”
“Perhaps that’s true of you,” Leonard said with a small smile. “I don’t believe Peter has ever appreciated what I have gone through for his sake. I don’t think he even notices it, truth be told. I don’t mean to say that he doesn’t care forme—I think he does. But I don’t think he worries very much about the things I go through to ensure his well-being. I think he would be just as happy if I stopped altogether.”
“So why don’t you stop altogether?” Prudence asked. “If he really doesn’t appreciate what you do, why do you continue to do it?”
“He’s my brother,” Leonard said simply. “He will always have everything I am capable of giving. I’m sure your sisters would do the same for you.”
“You’re right,” Prudence admitted. “They certainly would.”
“It’s difficult, though, to realize that you aren’t going to have the things you hoped for in life,” Leonard said. “To realize that your life isn’t going to look the way you thought it might. I suppose I just want you to know that I understand that, Prudence. I understand that you wished for something different from your marriage, and this has been a disappointment.”
“It hasn’t only been a disappointment,” she assured him. “It’s been a pleasant surprise as well, and I want you to know that, Leonard. Even though this isn’t a marriage of love, I am happy with where it has brought me. I’m happy to be your wife.”
She smiled and picked up her fork to begin eating once more, and Leonard returned her smile.
He was, shockingly enough, pleased with this marriage too.
CHAPTER 18
“Are you finding everything you’re looking for?” Leonard asked the following day.
He had come across Prudence in the library. When he’d first walked in, she wouldn’t deny having felt a bit nervous. Though this house was her home, she still had moments of uneasiness, as if she was somewhere she shouldn’t be—as if he would at any moment tell her that she had done something wrong and scold her for being in the wrong place or putting her hands on the wrong things. Was she really allowed to be here in this room, going through these books? Even though she’d spent many hours here, taking a book down from a shelf felt like crossing a new line.
But apparently, it wasn’t. Leonard came over to stand beside her and looked at the tome she’d chosen. “I didn’t know you had an interest in Roman history,” he commented.
“I don’t know if I do,” she admitted with a light laugh. “I’ve never studied it before.”
“And yet you chose this book.”
“I was judging it by the cover.” She smiled. “I know one isn’t supposed to do that, but I can’t help it. When you don’t know the contents of the book yet, it does seem the most fitting way to determine whether or not you might be interested. And this red leather is so appealing that I simply couldn’t resist picking the book up to see what I might find.”
“Well, if you do find that it interests you, I would recommend having a look at this one,” he said, pulling out a little black cloth-bound book and handing it to her. “Not as appealing as the leather, to be sure, but what’s inside is far superior in my opinion. If you want to learn more about ancient Rome, this one will serve you better.”
“Thank you.” She looked at him in surprise. “That’s very kind of you.”
“I wouldn’t want any wife of mine to be reading inferior books,” he said. “Though, of course, you are welcome to it if it appeals to you. I hope you’ll take a look at both books in due time though.”
“I certainly will,” Prudence said. She was amazed that he had gone to the trouble to make this offer to her, amazed that he had noticed what she was reading and cared enough to try to improve her experience. And she was grateful, too. She didn’t know what she had done to warrant such kindness.
Always before, Leonard had kept her at arm’s length. It was true that there had been a few meaningful conversations lately, and she felt closer to him than she ever had in the past—but that didn’t make her feel any less surprised when he went out of his way to ensure that she had everything she needed.
It’s just his character, I suppose. After all, Peter has never deserved the kind of treatment Leonard gives him. Leonard cares for his brother’s every need because that is simply the kind of man he is. It seems likely to me that I have never needed to do anything at all to deserve this kindness from him. He would have done the same for anyone.
That thought was a good one, for it was reassuring to know that she was married to a decent man. And yet, at the same time, she found herself feeling slightly sad.
The fact that kindness was just his character meant that he didn’t reserve it for her. He wasn’t treating her this way because he liked her. It was just a part of who he was, and he’d have done the same for anyone.
But is that really true?
