A cold wave of helplessness washed over me.
I let Richard pull the dress over me.
His cold fingers brushed my skin now and then, making me shiver uncontrollably.
On the ride back, L.A.'snight lights flowed past the window, neon staining the glass in ambiguous orange-red.
Richard and I sat in the back, with enough space between us for three more of me.
He scrolled his phone. I slipped my hand over my belly, pressing lightly through the fabric. No pain. It felt normal—hell, better than normal, if I was honest. So maybe that romp hadn't hurt the baby? I relaxed a bit.
The car pulled up at Blackwood Manor.
Richard got out first. I followed, stepping onto the stone stairs, and took a deep breath before speaking.
"Richard, there's something I need to tell you."
He didn't stop walking.
God, was my voice too quiet? Or was he just not listening?
"It's important!" I raised my voice. He couldn't ignore that.
Richard finally paused and turned to look at me.
"I've got a video call with the Asia team later. Whatever it is, tell me after."
With that, he strode toward his study.
I stood there, watching his back vanish around the corner.
Again.
What was huge to me was nothing to him.
I waited in the bedroom until after one a.m., then fell asleep.
When I woke, it was morning.
I lay in the big bed. Richard's side showed no sign of use. But looking down, I saw I'd been changed into pajamas—the set he'd bought me a week ago, too plain, so I'd never worn it.
Richard had come back, changed me while I slept, then left for who knows where.
I stared at the ceiling. Before overhearing what he really thought of me, this would've made me cry with joy. Now, I wanted to cry from rage. I hated how his random kindnesses made me think I could win his love.
I sat up, heading for the bathroom, when a sharp pain twisted in my abdomen, sudden and brutal, like something inside got wrung out.
My hand clamped down on my belly, face draining white.
No. No, no, no, no.
I scrambled into clothes, grabbed the car keys, and bolted out.
All the anger, all the sadness—nothing compared to the terror of losing this baby.
The hospital'santiseptic smell made me nauseous.
Blood draws, ultrasounds... I went through half a dozen tests, then sat in the exam chair, staring at the overhead lights. Every second of waiting stretched like forever.
