I study him warily, but he isn’t angry and doesn’t seem to have any of his usual snark ready to fly. Instead, he seems stunned and almost softened by the surprise. Hope stirs.
“Xavi?” I say, and he looks up at me. His eyes are wet, and even as I watch, he blinks the tear away. “Baby?”
“Come with me,” he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the sea. I follow him obediently, watching as he grabs his jeans. He rifles through the pockets, and I blink as he removes a small leather pouch. It’s tiny and well-worn, the leather smooth in places. It looks like a… My heart starts to pound. It looks like a ring pouch.
Xavier unbuttons it, shakes it, and something falls into his palm that gleams golden. I swallow hard as he raises his hand to me. Sitting on the palm is a wedding ring. I look up at him and swallow hard.
“You kept it?” I breathe.
“I couldn’t let it go either.”
“Shit.” I pull him into a tight hug, but I want him even closer. I want to burrow under his skin. He seems to be of the same mind, his arms tight around my waist, his face buried in my neck.
“What does it mean?” he whispers.
I know my grip is painful, but he doesn’t complain. I press a string of kisses into his temple. I pull back and look at him,and then, helplessly, I lean in and kiss his lips. It’s gentle and reverent enough to make me feel like crying, and I pour everything into it that I never thought he’d want again. Instead of shoving me away, he kisses me back, his hands frantic and strong on my body.
When we fall apart, we stare at each other. I swallow hard. “I think it means we need to talk,” I say hoarsely. “And talk properly.” I hesitate. “There are things you don’t know.”
“You’ve said that before.”
I shake my head. “I’m not sure I should tell you. It seems too self-indulgent and can only bring pain.”
“Reuben, you’ve said that before. I need to know what you’re keeping from me.”
“It could hurt you.”
“That’s life, Roo. You can’t stop it.”
The simple words stop me in my tracks, and I open my mouth. Then we both jerk as we hear a dog bark.
“Shit,” I say as I spot a couple in the distance, walking down to the beach. “Shit.”
We look at each other and break into motion, grabbing our clothes. “Where’s the towel?” Xavi asks. He sounds infuriatingly amused by everything.
“Ah, I don’t have one.”
“What thefuck? You just made me wild swim, you wanker.”
“Isuggestedyou swim.” I pull up my jeans, wincing as they get caught on my wet legs. The couple are getting closer.
“And you don’t even bring a bloody towel.” He’s managed to get his clothes on, but there’s no saving his hair. It’s as wild as I’ve ever seen it.
“Well, that’s the wild part of it all.”
He starts to laugh, and I shove him into the sand.
When I’ve got all my clothes on and our dog has stopped jumping around us like we’re at a party, I haul Xavier up. Hefalls into my arms as naturally as if he were made for them. I hug him for a precious second. “We need to go back to the ferry,” I say reluctantly. I’m strangely loath to leave this beach. It’s like we fell under a spell here that might lead to everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m too afraid to hope as I remember everything I haven’t told him. Would fate be so cruel to give me a second chance and have it ruined by the same fucked-up shit of the past?
“We’ll talk,” he says firmly. “I need to know everything.”
I don’t reply and just call for Bernard to come nearer so Xavi can put him on his lead.
We walk past the couple who give us curious glances, focusing on our crumpled clothes and Xavier’s hair. He looks like he was dragged through a hedge backwards and is very far removed from his immaculate model image.
Xavier doesn’t let go of my hand, and as we walk along, he edges closer until, in the end, I throw my arm over his shoulder and pull him into me. He comes as if life meant him to be there, as if my body was formed to cradle his.
When we reach the end of the beach, we stop and look back. Xavier stares as if fixing it in his mind. I want to hug him and tell him that he can see this view any time he wants, but I can’t, and it infuriates me that I’m as caught by the unspoken as ever.
