The door closes behind him with a final-sounding click. I stay still, staring at it, willing him to open it again, to shout at me, to argue for us, but the silence is absolute and final.
Finally, Grey huffs. “I thought I’d seen you do some stupid things in your life, Reuben, but this took the biscuit. Did you need to be so cruel?”
“Yes.” My mouth feels numb. “He would never have given up on me otherwise. He loved me too much.”
He laughs, but there’s no humour in the sound. “Fucking hell, too much love is what most people search their whole lives for.” He comes close and cups my face. His fingers are warm against my cold skin. “I’m incredibly annoyed with you. I think you’ve probably ruined your chance at happiness.”
“It’s worth it for him.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I know I’ll never forgive myself, but he’ll go on and have a happy life and meet someone his own age, and I’ll just be a distant memory.”
“And what about you?”
“I’ll go on too. I have work to do.”
“I think that might be your current mental state talking. You haven’t been right for a while, Reuben, making crazy decisions because you can’t stay still long enough to see the truth of what’s happening to you.” I don’t say anything, and he sighs. “I’ll always love you. But I’m going home.”
“I love you too.”
The room is quiet when he’s gone. I fumble my way into the hotel robe and then fall into a chair. It grows dark, but I sit still, my thoughts empty and cold.
The phone rings, the noise making me jump. I fumble for it. “Yes?”
“Have you done it?” Jez asks.
“Yes.”
His voice when he speaks is happy. “Good. It’s just you and me. You’re all mine again, Reuben.”
present
Love is so short. Forgetting is so long.
Pablo Neruda
chapter 14
. . .
Xavier
I wake slowly, aware that my neck is stiff. “Ungh.” My head hurts, and there’s a low-key nausea in my belly. For a few seconds, I don’t know where I am. It’s not unknown for me to wake up in some very strange places, so there’s no panic, just curiosity. Then I hear a familiar chuckle, and the memory slams into me.
Reuben kidnapped me. Well, notkidnapped, but he’d certainly been very bossily organising. He got his way in the hospital. Jonas had backed off, and everyone had swung into accommodating Reuben like he was the king rather than a retired journalist. Of course they did. He has a way of making things happen. It’s just I’d forgotten that fact in the years we’ve been apart.
I’d agreed sulkily to the plan when it became clear there wasn’t an alternative, and once I’d got a clean bill of health to travel, events had moved quickly, and I’d found myself dressed and wheeled to Reuben’s Land Rover. In protest at my situation, I’d turned my back on him and promptly fallen asleep.
I force my eyes open, wincing at the brightness. “Where are we?” I say thickly. My mouth feels like the lining of a hamster’scage. We’re sitting in a line of cars on a narrow stretch of road. Ahead of me is a vast expanse of water and mountains that seem to touch the sky.
“Lochaline, waiting for the ferry.”
“Theferry?” I reluctantly glance at him. He looks infuriatingly good, dressed in jeans and a black cashmere turtleneck. “Whatfucking ferry?”
His lip twitches. “The ferry to Mull.”
“What the hell? Why are we going there? Is this more torture?”
