She nods and doesn’t push.
“I need to finish packing.” It’s a lame excuse, we both know it. But it’s an excuse all the same.
She gently touches my arm. “Hey, if you ever change your mind…” She gestures to herself. “I’ll be here.”
I smile. “Thank you for a fun night. See you when I get back?”
“Absolutely.” She looks as though she wants to lean in for a hug but decides otherwise. I stand, not knowing what else to do, and head for her door. “Julia?” I turn to face her. “When you’re ready, whoever you decide to take that next step with, she’s a lucky girl.”
I’m not sure what to say, so I quickly leave her room and the party.
The second I get to my dorm, I rush to the sink and splash somecold water on my face and stare at my reflection. I can’t believe I almost had sex with Emily. I can’t believe how badly Iwantedto have sex with Emily.
At least up until the part where I wished she was Alex.
I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. This is not ideal. This is so far from ideal. This is “What the actual fuck?”
“Since when do I want to sleep with my best friend?” I ask my reflection.
She doesn’t answer.
“I’ve officially run out of tissues.”
“Here.” My mother hands me one and proceeds to dab at her own eyes. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose.
Chloe appears with a drink, something bubbly that she probably sweet-talked one of the servers into giving her. “Where did Alex go?”
“I think to change.” Which is honestly a shame because she looked stunning in her tea-length olive bridesmaid dress. “How’s my makeup?”
“And mine?” my mother asks.
Chloe takes her time examining our faces. “Still pretty solid considering how hard you both were crying.”
I glare. “Like you didn’t cry your face off during the dances.”
She takes a sip of her champagne. “Not denying it.”
The sunset ceremony in the gardens was nothing less than perfect and the dances, oh my God, the dances. Their first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Avery was super sweet. They looked so happy and so in love. And then Alex and Richard. Watching them giggle while he led them around the dance floor, I thought my heart was going to explode.
But it was the mother and son dance that really got me. To be fair, I wasn’t the only one. I’m fairly certain there wasn’t a dry eye in the reception room. Mason, who’s a good head taller, somehow looked like a little boy with his mother all over again. Like the time in the fourth grade when I spent the day at Alex’s when school was closed for snow. We had a dance party in the kitchen while baking cookies. Alex grabbed my hand, and Mason grabbed his mom’s. I’ll never forgetthe way he spun her around that kitchen, head thrown back, and the sweetest laughter carrying over the music.
I spent half the dance watching Alex. It made my chest ache with a bittersweet kind of pain. Because I knew what she was thinking. I could see it on her face even from across the room. It was fear, pain, relief, and happiness all rolled into one.
“I’m so glad Lina got the chance to dance with Mason,” my mom says as if reading my mind.
“Deb,” my dad gently warns.
“I know, I just, it was so nice. That’s all I’m saying.” My mom presses the tissues back to her eyes.
And here come my tears all over again.
“Okay, we’re going to go stand out on the balcony and get some air.” My dad takes my mom by the shoulders and gently starts to direct her away, despite her protests.
I’m thankful. I don’t need my mom voicing the quiet parts out loud. That Mason may not make it to his own wedding. “We’ll come see you in a bit,” I promise and carefully swipe under my eyes. I turn expectantly to Chloe, who gives me a thumbs-up and snags another flute from a server who’s passing by.
“You need another edible, or will this suffice?” she asks, handing me the glass.
The server gives us a strange look, and I can feel my face flush. “Definitely not another edible.”
