“I missed you guys, too.” I missed the cookies and the annual picture by the Christmas tree. I missed cozying up under a blanket with Alex and cheering on Ripley. Most of all, I missed being home with my favorite people. “Is Alex still mad at me?”
Mason shakes his head. “She’s not mad. She’s just…have you two not talked?”
“No, we have,” I assure him. It’s been sporadic and brief, but we have. “It’s just been…” I sigh. “She doesn’t tell me much.”
I think about her driving away from me in August. After our conversation late at night, when she admitted that it was easier for her not to behere. It echoes in my mind when things get too quiet.
“She’s been even more distant since the engagement. She told me it was easier to be away.” I let out a deep breath and run my thumb along my pendant. “I feel like I’m losing her, and I don’t know what to do.”
He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s looking at me, I can feel it. I keep my gaze on my half-eaten wrap, wondering how I ever let it get this bad between us.
“When we were kids,” he starts softly, “after I got sick and after Dad left, we’d always talk about traveling the world. Even if we had the money, with my heart…Mom was too scared for me to go too far from my doctors. So she started this game: if you could fly.” His eyes start to water, and he smiles. His expression is distant, like he’s falling back in time. “But it was never really a game to Alex. She was always itching to move, to find an escape.” He continues to stare, lost in memory.
“Some things don’t change, I guess.”
My comment seems to snap him out of his daze. He gives me the saddest smile. “She runs because she’s scared. Because she doesn’t know how to handle people leaving her. She doesn’t know what to dowith that hurt. Be patient with her. She’ll come around. I have faith that the two of you will find your way back to each other. You always do.”
My throat feels tight and so does my chest. I want to believe him, but Alex has been running since she was seventeen. Any hope of her stopping seems to evaporate with every year that passes.
I’m terrified that one day, she won’t come home at all.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alex
My brother dies on March thirteenth and takes what’s left of my heart with him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Julia
The funeral was…well, honestly, it was awful. Not for Mason’s lack of planning. Turns out, he had it all scripted, from the whimsical rendition of “Master of Puppets” to the most insane-looking urn to a reading of several humorous poems. He picked the most eccentric celebrant, a friend he made in college, and despite the production, it was still, at its core, a funeral. A celebration of life for the world’s most beautiful soul and the saddest good-bye to the best person I have ever known.
“You should eat something,” my mom insists, appearing by my side. She hands me a muffin resting on a napkin. It looks dry and unappealing, and the sight of it makes my stomach churn.
I take it anyway. “Thanks.” I need to find Alex.
Chloe rounds the corner and weaves through the sea of people jammed inside the Pestano residence. “Sarah’s an absolute mess.” She takes the muffin and bites right into the top, crumbs spilling past her lips. My mom sighs but doesn’t say anything.
My heart breaks for Sarah, Mason’s ex, who clearly did not want to be an ex anything. “Should we check on her?”
Chloe shakes her head. “Some of the dungeon guys are with her. They’re all in Mason’s room. It’s not…” She shakes her head and swallows roughly. “No.”
“Was Alex up there?” I ask. That was the whole reason Chloe ventured upstairs to begin with, to see if Alex was hiding in her room while I urged Brian to head home. As nice as it was for him to attend, there’s no need for him to follow me around for the repast. Especiallywhen I have no plans to leave. At least, not for the next few days. Or for however long Alex wants me to be here.
Chloe shakes her head. “No, and she’s not hiding in the bathroom or the basement, either. I even checked all the closets. Are we sure she didn’t leave with Simone?”
“No, she was definitely still here when Simone left.” I remember because Alex came back inside after walking her out, shivering, and I rubbed her arms in an attempt to get her warm. Except I don’t think she was shaking from the cold.
“Maybe she’s out back?” My mom offers and shoves another pastry into my hands.
I hand that one to Chloe as well and send a quick text to Alex, asking where she is. We all stare at my phone, expecting an instant reply, and when it doesn’t come, I share a worried look with Chloe.
Lina spots us and excuses herself from her conversation. The bags under her eyes are heavy, and her face seems a little more hollow. I wonder if my mother has had any success in gettingherto eat something. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. “Have you girls seen Alex?”
“No, we haven’t seen her,” Chloe answers while I check my phone again.
“I tried texting. She isn’t answering.” Not only that, she hasn’t even read my latest message or picked up any of my calls.
