Emily surprised her by wrapping her arms around her in a hug, something a friend would do, and pulled away a few seconds later.
Without saying another word, Emily walked away, and Alex exhaled a shaky breath, still not quite believing how this day had turned out.
19
Emily closed her laptop, more than happy to be at the end of her office hours. She turned off her monitor and checked her phone before she got ready to head home. It had been another long week, finishing the longest month in a very long time.
It had to get better. That’s what she kept telling herself. Because in the month since she’d told Alex that they had to stop seeing each other, she’d had more than one moment where she thought about caving, about sending her a text, because as amazing as they were in bed together, a lot of what she missed was just being around her.
And since then, Emily had only seen Alex twice a week for class where they didn’t interact. They hadn’t spoken a word to one another since that night outside the club, and it was slowly killing her.
But there wasn’t anything she could do about it.
Except hope that it would get better.
Emily slid her laptop into her bag, pausing when she thought she heard a knock at the door, but it was so soft, it was hard to tell. But there it was again.
“Come in,” Emily said, her back to the door as she finished gathering her things, but when she turned, her breath left her lungs. “Alex.”
“Don’t worry.” She held her hands up; her black messenger bag slung across her chest. “I’m here on business. I just have a question about the essay that’s due next week.”
Emily motioned for her to sit, and she did the same, her eyes meeting Alex’s for the first time in weeks. She always avoided looking at Alex during class, knowing it would distract her or throw off her train of thought.
“I know I could have sent you an email,” Alex said. “But I feel like this is what office hours are for, and I didn’t want to do anything differently than anyone else just because…” Her voice trailed off. “Anyway. I’ve picked the third title choice. And I’m naturally finding myself adding my own thoughts. Like the historical facts and dates are there to back up opinions, but I don’t know. I feel like I’m writing an opinion piece more than an essay that someone might reference to learn about that time. Maybe, I’m overthinking the whole thing, but I’ve got this stack of research, and I’m mostly ignoring it because I can’t tone down my own thoughts about it. And I’m trying to stay within the page limit.”
Emily found herself smiling. “Most students are trying to hit the minimum page count, and you’re worried about exceeding it? Just write the essay. If it’s two pages over, and it’s a good piece, I won’t deduct anything. Go for it.”
“Okay,” Alex said as she exhaled what sounded like a nervous breath, her hands running over her jeans as she stood. “That was easy.”
Emily found herself standing too, almost wishing that Alex didn’t have to go.
“Um,” Alex started and stopped again just as quickly. “I was thinking about dropping this class.”
“Don’t.” Emily didn’t wait for her to continue.
“It would make things easier.” Alex picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “For both of us.”
“Don’t do it because of that. It’s fine.” Emily folded her arms across her chest. “And I want to apologize. For that night at the club. I feel like I might have been too abrupt. And I wanted you to know that, that it wasn’t my intention, and also that it had nothing to do with you. It was the situation. My career.”
“I know. And you weren’t too abrupt. You said what needed to be said while giving me zero hope of anything happening again.” Alex held up her hand when Emily opened her mouth. “And that was exactly what I needed to hear.”
“So, we’re okay?” Emily asked.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Good.” Emily bit her lip. “There’s just one thing I need you to do.”
“What’s that?”
“You have to stop looking at me like that,” Emily said, feeling her cheeks heat up. “In class.” Even though she couldn’t look directly at Alex, that didn’t mean that she couldn’t feel Alex’s gaze on her.
“It’s hard not to.” Alex’s voice held no flirtation. Her voice was level, an honest admission.
And then she left, quietly closing the door after her.
20
Two months ago, when Emily had told Alex that they couldn’t see each other anymore, Alex never would have guessed that she’d be on a date with a friend of a friend, a beautiful woman in her early thirties named Stacey.
