“I don’t have the time for that.”
“Well,” I murmur after a moment. “You’ve made your dream come true, so I understand. You’ve always been focused on hockey, and it paid off.”
“I don’t know,” he says after a minute.
“Blue, you’re joking, right? That was always your plan.”
He takes a moment to think.
I close my eyes. “I’m a little drunk right now.”
“A little?” he jokes.
“Just listen.” I swat in the direction of his arm and miss. “When we’re kids — when we’re little — we think reaching our goals is going to be this huge thing. Like, fireworks. Like, a parade. We think we’ll feel it. But then we get there, and it’s actually a bunch of really small moments that pass you by without you even noticing, and your brain goes — that’s it? That’s the thing? And then your brain decides to find something new and to keep moving forward, and none of it ever feels like it’s enough.”
A beat.
“My brain, huh?” he teases.
I cover my mouth and laugh into the pillow.How dumb do I sound right now?“Your brain. Everyone’s brain. The brain does that, Blue.”
“When did you become so insightful?” he jokes.
I shove him, and this time I don’t miss. “Stop it.”
He chuckles loudly. “You’re about to push me off the bed.”
I use my feet and playfully nudge him with a soft kick. He grabs onto my arm like he’s actually going to fall. Instead of pulling himself more on the bed, he pulls me closer to him.
“Blue,” I screech. I laugh so hard when his arm comes around me. “Why are you so close to the edge then!”
He pulls me closer to him. I keep pushing him away with my feet. His fingers land on my ribs and my body starts jerking when his fingertips dig into my side.
“Stop!” I shout. “You’re going to regret this.” I’m laughing so hard I can’t catch my breath. I grab both of his hands and wrestle to get him to stop. He leans over to turn on the lamp, and I kick a little too hard, expecting to be met with resistance. Instead, he falls off the bed.
I sit up.Shit.I cover my mouth with the long sleeve when I see his shadow stand up in the darkness. He sits on the bed and flicks on the lamp.
“You’re going to get it now,” he says, and then he reaches for me, grabbing my legs as I kick away from him, laughing. My head’s spinning like I’m on a freaking never-ending upside-down rollercoaster.
“Blue,” I shout again.
He’s tickling my sides now. I push my elbows down to protect my armpits, and then I decide to grab his hands. I force him on his back, straddling him. I push his hands on either side of his head.
“Stop it,” I breathe, looking down at him with a smile.
He smiles up at me, lifting his face. “Or what?”
I’m sitting on his stomach, feeling his fast breath underneath me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Blue Golding this playful. Never in a million years would I ever think he’d act like this. If he wants to play, I can play.
I lean down, “Or I’m going to put you on a time-out like they do in your games.”
He tries to lift his hands, so I use all my strength to keep them down. He stops fighting me, so I fall forward near his face. His eyes just stare into mine.
I swallow. “Is that what you want?”
His head falls on the pillow. And then he smirks. “No.”
“Then say sorry,” I demand.
