“You fucking smell of him!” He seethed marking her neck as his other hand roamed down her body shamelessly stopping above her clothes breast“Always pretend to be a saint in my presence wearing long sleeves but when with him, you chose to wear this filthy,” he ripped the dress off her shoulder followed by her scream.“Dress for him. To seduce him, right?”
“Rafael! No! Please!” She cried thrashing violently as his kisses became harsher and more forceful. He squeezed her breasts as she closed her eyes in disgust and several unrecognizable voices rang in her head.
“NO!” She yelled. “PLEASE! I BEG YOU! NOT THIS! NOT THIS!” The images flashing before her closed eyes were blurred. But she could feel hands on her. Another pair of invisible hands — repulsive and shameless.
When she felt Rafael’s hand bunching her dress up, she screamed at the top of her lungs.“I love you! I love you!” She’d not expected to say these words. But survival instinctskicked in and she realized she’d do anything to not be a used and abused wife—even lie.
Rafael stilled, his hands stalling as he pulled his head away from her neck and looked into her teary red eyes. Swollen lips and red nose. Pink cheeks and terrorized gaze.
“What did you just say?” He asked in a low voice.
Amara sniffed still feeling the ghost of his touches. “I love you, please! Don’t do this! Don’t do this! I’ll never go out! I’ll stay here! In my room! Never even disobey you! But please don’t do this! Punish me however you want but not this!” But Rafael refused to see fear in her eyes and his eyes gleamed with joy.
“You love me, right?” He asked like a child being treated with his favorite treat.
She trembled nodding. Her tears streaming down her face. She felt coldness seeping through her. The remnants of her dignity clinging indecently to her body in shattered pieces. When she didn’t see any remorse or guilt in Rafael’s eyes, she flinched.
Rafael smiled—innocently and gently, pulling her up and hugging her as she shut her eyes and clenched her jaw holding her sobs as he murmured against her hair.
“Good then. Go and prepare dinner. I’m hungry.”
CHAPTER 30
She tried — but failed miserably. The tremble in her hands now worsened as she dropped the knife for the tenth time. Rafael refused to let her change, and the tattered pieces of her dignity clung to her skin. She was relieved at least her chest and private parts were covered, but what about her self-esteem, her dignity, her womanhood?
She felt herself slipping into a fake abyss once again. She hated this. With all her guts and wanted nothing more than to run back to her room, close the door and hide underneath the blanket. She wanted to cry.
But she couldn’t.
Rafael just told her to make dinner. She didn’t know why she was obeying him, but one thing was for sure, he was not going to let her leave so easily.
She shuddered at the feel of his cold gaze on her as he sat on the chair and observed her. His eyes lingered on her with such intensity that paralyzed her to her core. That made her wither in disgust.
“How long?” Rafael asked feigning boredom tapping his chin as if he just tried to force himself on her. Amara flinched at his voice and tried not to let her tears fall.
“J-Just a moment.” She tried to voice out. The sooner she’d make him food, the sooner she’ d be able to leave her room.
The new hope glistened. And she quickly stirred the stew and put veggies in it. She kept her back turned to him, knowing she’d break if she looked at him.
Adding mushrooms and stirring it for a minute or two. Her hands shook as she tried to add the soup to the bowl. Taking a deep breath, she finally gathered herself and served him.
When she turned around, she kept her head low.
Rafael amusedly hummed rubbing his hands. “I knew you’d make me something delicious.”
He licked his lips looking at the food and Amara kept her tears at bay.
She put the rice and side dishes in front of him and took a stumbling step towards her roomwhen his voice stopped her.“Where are you going? Come, sit with me.”
Amara did not want to but she had no choice. So, she decided to play his way for a while. Cause there was nothing she could do anymore. She took the seat opposite of him purposely, not meeting his eyes as he ate.
“So, what did you do today? Except for the strolling.” He stirred the soup with the spoon. Amara swallowed.
“N-Nothing.” Rafael hummed. Amara clenched her jaw and shut hereyes. Was he always like this? Insecure and jealous? Abusive? She shook her head. No. This couldn’t be Rafael she knew. The man whom she met when she gained her conciseness was caring, loving and generous.
But the one in front of her wasn’t.
He was manipulative, abusive, and forceful.
