I’m sure plenty of people would think all this is fancy, but I’m not that girl. I prefer small events with homemade touches and food cooked with love.
Sunlight flickers through the ferns, and I catch sight of Nathan, my groom to be. He’s dressed to the nines in a graysuit that looks engineered to fit his strong frame. The jacket is tapered cleanly along his torso, the fabric smooth and dark, catching the light in a way that screams expense. The shoulders, structured and sharp as the crisp, white collar stands neatly against his neck like it’s been starched into obedience.
I have no idea how much the suit cost, but I’ll assume by the looks, it was a lot.
His hair is dark, thick, and freshly cut, with the sides trimmed close. His face, freshly shaven, showing the sharp line of his jaw. He looks handsome, attractive in a way that exudes wealth and success, letting everyone in attendance know how far he’s come in his twenty-eight years.
I will agree with that. Nathan has built a very successful tech career for himself, and he’s built it from nothing. The man is smart. There’s no doubt about that.
He tucks his hand into the pocket of his trousers and paces alongside the sidewalk at the edge of the first arbor. When he’s a few feet away from the crowd gathered at the gazebo, he pulls his phone from his pocket. A moment later, my line is ringing and the knot in my stomach gets tighter.
I know I should answer. He deserves to know something, but I don’t want to talk. I don’t know what to say. How do I tell him I’m having second thoughts? He’s not good with feelings. He certainly won’t be good with this. In fact, he’ll most likely freak out, get mad, and demand I fall back in line like he always does.
I think I’m done listening.
“Hey.” My voice is already breathy, a consequence of the heavy slamming of my heart.
“What the hell, Pepper?” he grumbles low. “Where are you? We’ve extended drink service by an hour already.”
Now’s the time. I could tell him I’m done. I could tell him I’m having second thoughts, that I need some breathing room, that I can’t do this today.
Heat presses behind my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. This is my exit. I need to take it. My body knows that loud and clear, yet my mind whispers,not now… not like this.
“I’m coming,” I say, swallowing the lump down as best I can. “The lady is still doing my hair.”
“Doing your hair?” he groans, and I can tell he’s annoyed as hell. “I see every one of your bridesmaids. Why would she do their hair before the bride?”
He has a good point there because she didn’t. She, in fact, didn’t even do my bridesmaid’s hair. We all had our own hairdresser, and they were done two hours ago.
“I don’t know.” I swallow again. “You want it to be perfect, right? I’ll be right down.”
“Is this about your mother?” he groans, and though he doesn’t know I can see him, I can.
My stomach tightens the second he asks the question. My mom should be here today. She would’ve had the wedding been smaller, not so stressful, at a place where she could easily maneuver given her multiple sclerosis.
“Yeah, I’m sad she’s not here,” I admit with bated breath, afraid of the fallout.
“I knew it!” he roars. “I fucking knew it! You’re going to let her ruin our day. She agreed to this venue. You insisted we ask her, and she agreed.” His tone is gruff, and as I stare at him from the window above, I can see his fists clenching.
“She didn’t agree. She went along with you because you were so adamant. If you’d listened to either of us, you’d know that she needs a low-stress environment. Her body is—”
“I’m not going to plan an entire event around your mother. Today is about us. We have a camera set up so she can watch. Ilove you, you love me, so let’s get this show on the road. We’ve left people waiting for too long.”
“Yeah,” I say, completely numb.
“I mean it, Pepper. We can’t leave people waiting any longer. Get down here.” He disconnects the line before I can answer, which I’m grateful for, considering I don’t know how to respond.
Well, that’s a lie. I do know how to respond, but I’m in so deep now, I don’t know how to say it. Plus, he’s not all bad. I think it’s the wedding that’s stressing him out. The whole thing has turned him into a groomzilla.
I draw in a heavy breath and start pacing in front of the large picture windows that look down on the courtyard. If folks could see me up here in my tower, they’d probably laugh their butts off. I was so adamant about getting married young. I told everyone I knew how Nathan was the one, how much we had in common, how perfect he was for me.
That was a year ago. Now, I’m not sure I’d even trust him to clean the pan before he makes me dinner. He sure as heck has proven I can’t count on him for comfort.
My phone rings again. This time it’s my mother, and though I know I should get downstairs, I really want to hear her voice, so I answer the call.
“Mom!”
“Sweetheart, is everything okay? Nathan just texted me and said you’re delaying because you miss me. Is that true?”
