“And Anna?”
Ryan laced his fingers behind his head, trying to look casual. “Anna’s doing great. She’s not so skittish around strange guys anymore. She’s a good waitress and is starting to learn how to pour some drinks.”
“Yeah, I know her work is fine, stop playing dumb, Ryan. I want to know what’s going on between YOU and Anna.” Jake leaned forward as he spoke, a serious look coming over his face. “I’m not an idiot, when we were at her house the other day, I could tell there’s something going on with you two. You’re spending more time with her than I’ve ever seen you spend with any other woman before. No offense, but you are normally awham bam thank you ma’amkinda guy. This time, as far as I can tell, there has not been any wham or bam yet. So, I’ll ask you again. What the hell is going on between you and Anna?”
Standing up, Ryan started to pace the small office. Jake’s words had touched a nerve, but he knew they were not meant in a bad way. It was true, Anna was the first woman he had been interested in and not immediately tried to get into bed with.
“Look, I don’t know okay? She’s different. I have no goddamn clue why, and trust me, that fact alone is messing with my head. But I really like her. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Want things I have never wanted. But I know she has been through something awful, even if she won’t tell me exactly what. So, I’m going slow. It’s hard, but it will be worth it. I hope.”
Jake nodded slowly, before letting a wide grin come over his face. “You’ve fallen for her. Damn. I never thought the day would come that Ryan Carlisle would be tamed. I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, yeah, fuck off.” Ryan headed for the office door, knowing Jake had his back, like always.
“Get to work, Casanova,” Jake called out as Ryan walked away.
Yes, just like always.
* * *
The first few hours of Anna’s shift went smoothly. She spent most of her time serving customers, but when it wasn’t too busy, she went behind the bar to learn how to mix drinks and practice pouring a pint of beer without having too much foam on top. The sexual innuendo of dealing with afoamy headwas not lost on Anna, and the seductive wink that Ryan threw her way as he taught her how to avoid it, sent a wave of heat straight to her core.
It was a couple of hours before closing, and Anna was collecting a tray of drinks to take to a table of guys who had just come in. Clearly a sports team of some kind, they all had damp hair like they had just showered and were laughing and teasing each other loudly about who had scored the most points at their game. She put the glasses and pitcher of beer down in the middle of the table, and turned to go, proud of the fact that her nerves had not hit, even while some of the guys had lightly flirted with her. She felt secure knowing Ryan and Jake were watching out for her—she could feel Ryan’s heated gaze on her all the time.
As Anna turned to go and check on her other tables, she glanced up at the front door when it opened. Even though she was on the other side of the pub, closer to the bar and nowhere near the door, her heart fell to her feet and she dimly heard her empty tray clattering to the ground as everything around her faded to a hazy nothingness. The man who had just walked in, tall and slender, with a neatly trimmed goatee had an arrogant look that was terrifyingly familiar as it swept the bar, thankfully not even pausing on Anna. While the tiny part of her brain that hadn’t cowered in terror knew this man was not Tim, just an eerie lookalike, the rest of her had folded in utter panic. She couldn’t avoid the flash of memories of Tim’s icy expression and his cruel voice. Barely able to gulp in a breath, Anna turned and ran through the back hallway, past the kitchen and office, and straight out into the alley and the sharp, cold winter air. Gasping at the chill, she crouched down, wrapping her arms around her knees trying to warm herself and calm down. A few seconds later the back door banged open again, making her jump up in fear. But it was Ryan, a scared and worried look on his face. He ran over to Anna and without pausing pulled her tight against his chest. Only then did she feel the fear leave her with a deep shudder of relief.
“Anna? Sweetheart, what’s wrong.” The fear came through loud and clear in Ryan’s voice. “Talk to me, what are you doing out here shaking as if you’ve seen a ghost?”
Anna trembled, realizing the time had come to tell Ryan more of why she had left California in such a hurry. If she was going to trust this man, as a friend or as something more, he deserved to know what had happened, what could happen if Tim ever found her. Taking a deep breath, she began to speak, hating the fear-filled tremble she could hear in her voice.
“A guy came into the bar. He looked… I thought…” She trailed off, realizing she probably was not making any sense. Anna knew Ryan would never judge her for what she had been through, but still it was hard to finally reveal the shame and the fear that had choked her for so long. Like Callie had said, she was a victim—as much as she wished to pretend the last few years had not even happened and were just a bad dream.
“When I was in California, at CSU to get my teaching degree, I met someone: Tim. He seemed like a nice guy, charming even. We dated and things moved quickly. But then he changed. He started to get controlling. It came across as jealousy, concern,‘I’m just trying to help, baby’,” she said this last part in a scorn-filled imitation of a man’s voice. “But soon he gave up all pretense of trying to be a good guy and just turned into an asshole. He was into some bad stuff, I didn’t know exactly what at the time, but it involved drugs and some majorly scary dudes coming to the apartment late at night. He convinced me to drop out of school because he was jealous of how much time I spent in class, I lost my friends because he controlled my time and who I saw. I couldn’t leave because he had convinced me to move in with him back in the beginning, so I had nowhere else to live. He made me believe that I needed him, and that no one else wanted me around anymore. I eventually stopped talking to Aunt Theresa except for once in a while because I was so embarrassed by what I had let my life become, and so damn terrified of what would happen if she figured out what my life was like and tried to get me to leave.”
Anna pulled away from Ryan, instantly missing his warmth, but needing to move, feeling restless with the shame and grief that filled her.
“I knew what was going on, I knew I was in an abusive relationship. I’ve been to self-defense courses, I’ve read the articles, heard the stories. Hell, before I met Tim, I spent a month volunteering for a crisis support phone line, talking to other women who were in abusive relationships. And you know what? It is all bullshit. What they don’t teach you is how fucking manipulative those bastards are. How they know exactly what to say and do, how far to push you before reeling you in, either with charm or with intimidation. You never learn how to notice the manipulation before it’s too late, and you are in so deep you’re drowning.” Anna’s voice caught on a sob. Ryan strode over to her and pulled her back into his arms. She sagged into his embrace, relieved that finally, someone knew her story. Someone had heard her.
Wrapped in his arms, warm and protected, Anna knew she had to continue. She had to tell Ryan everything that was in her heart, he deserved that and so much more.
“I’m scared, Ryan. I have these crazy feelings when I’m around you that make no sense, but I can’t avoid them.” Looking up into his eyes, she could see he wanted to respond, so she gently put her fingers over his lips. She had to get it out before she could stand to hear what he had to say. “Please know I never meant for this to happen. I didn’t come to your bar looking for anything more than a cup of coffee that night. But meeting you turned my life around when it was at the darkest point. You helped me so much when I first got here. You gave me a job, you gave me friends, and you gave me someone I could trust. I know that might make me sound codependent or needy or something stupid like that, but it’s the opposite for me. You are helping me feel strong again. At the same time, I am terrified of falling for someone, trusting someone again. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with how broken Tim made me.”
Anna took a breath, steadying herself for Ryan’s response. But she was unprepared for the tenderness in his gaze as he gently held her away so he could look into her eyes.
“Anna, you are the strongest woman I have ever met. You are no more broken than anyone else in this world. Don’t you dare give that jackass any more power over your life. He’s not here, you are, and I am. I see you, Anna Thorn, and I like what I see.” Ryan’s voice rang with sincerity, bringing soft tears to Anna’s eyes. “I’m going to kiss you now. So that you can trust that I have those same crazy feelings that I don’t want to avoid any more either.”
Ryan tilted her head up, cupping her face with his large hands. Tentatively, Anna wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders, marveling at the power of his muscular body. This was a man who could make her feel so much, but a man who she instinctively knew would never use that power against her. As his mouth lowered to hers, she sucked in a gentle gasp of arousal. His lips brushed hers, gently at first, as if he were feeling for her readiness. When she pulled him closer that was all the signal he needed, and the kiss turned heated. Lips crushed together and tongues danced in perfect balance. Anna moaned into his mouth and Ryan’s hands wound through her hair, tugging her head back gently so he could press kisses all over her mouth and down her neck. Returning to her lips, his kiss seemed to stop time. She no longer felt the cold around her, she was so lost in the heat of their embrace.
At the sound of a throat clearing behind them, Anna and Ryan jumped apart. It was Jake, smiling wryly at the two of them. “When Mark said you two had run outside like the devil was chasing you, I was worried for a minute. I guess the devil is just the one in your pants, Ryan.”
Anna started to protest, feeling the need to defend Ryan’s actions in abandoning his work for her, but he caught her arm and held her back.
“Anna needed some air and I came back to make sure she was alright. We’re coming back in now, so just chill out.”
Thankfully, Jake had known Ryan long enough to get it when there was more left unsaid. He nodded and turned to go back inside, leaving them for a few more minutes of privacy. “Got it. Just get back in here, it’s getting busy inside and it’s damn cold out here.”
When the door closed behind him, Anna let out her breath that she had not even realized she was holding. Logically, she understood that Callie had probably told Jake what she knew about Anna’s past, but that didn’t mean she was ready to admit that she had been so scared by a customer who hadn’t even said anything to her. Nervously, she looked up at Ryan. “Thanks for not saying anything about why I ran out. I hope he’s not too mad.”
“Nah, he’s fine. Don’t worry about anything, okay? But he is right, it is fucking freezing out here.” Ryan rubbed his hands up and down Anna’s arms. “Come on, let’s get you inside before I decide your kisses are addicting enough for us to really piss off Jake and go home for the night.”
