I’ve got a decision to make. On the one hand, this could be the perfect moment to talk to Toby about me dating Kayla; on the other hand, I haven’t yet been able to find out how she feels, so it could also be risky. I go with my gut, which is telling me she’s in this as deep as I am and take this opportunity as it is.
“I was thinking about Kayla,” I reply. Toby comes to sit beside me and his little legs swing in the air, reminding me of how young he is, despite the maturity he’s showing with this conversation.
“Do you like Kayla, buddy?”
“Yup. Do you?”
How to answer that one stumps me for a minute, but I decide to proceed honestly.
“I think I more than like her, Toby. I think I love her.”
“Does that mean you want to hold hands?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, it does. And I might kiss her, and she might have a sleepover at our house sometimes. Would that be okay with you?”
He seems to think about this for a while and I hold my breath nervously. This is the first time I’ve talked to him about my being with a woman and his approval is crucial.
“Yeah, that’s okay. Can I sleep with you guys at the sleepovuh too?”
My heart feels like it might burst as I pull my son into my side and press a kiss to his head. He tries to get away but I don’t let him, needing to show him my love, even if he doesn’t recognize it as that.
“Maybe, little man. Maybe.”
Toby hops off the bench, the conversation clearly over in his mind, and I stand up with a wide grin.
Sleepovers with Kayla are officially on the table. Now I just have to talk to her about that.
But first I have to corral a five-year-old around the grocery store and try not to let him fill the cart with too much junk food. Don’t get me wrong, I like sugary cereal and chips as much as the next guy, but as a dad, it’s my job to balance that with fruit and vegetables.
Once we’re home and the food is all unpacked and put away, I reach for my phone to firm up plans with Kayla. It’s then I see a missed message from my mom that changes everything.
MOM: Hi honey, SURPRISE! Your father was able to rearrange his schedule, so we’re coming to see you today! Our ferry gets in at two and I’ve got ingredients for Nana’s special lasagna with me for my favorite grandson.
Shit. As excited as I am to see my parents and show them Westmount Island, this means I won’t be able to talk to Kayla today. I sigh as I open a text window to her.
SAM: Hey beautiful, I hate that I have to do this but I need to cancel our plans. My parents surprised us and are coming in early, so I need to clean up and then get them from the ferry later on.
KAYLA: Bummer, but yay for your parents coming? (is it a yay?)
SAM: lol yeah, it’s a yay. Toby really misses them, and with them here, I can get away and take you on a real date. After I tell them about you, that is.
SAM: Speaking of telling people…. I talked with Toby about us. He wants to have a sleepover with you. Didn’t realize I’d be competing with my son for your attention.
KAYLA: What can I say, I’m a popular sleeping buddy. Also. Wow. So, this is like, serious now.
I can feel her nerves ramping up even over text messages, so I dial her number.
“Yes, it’s serious, babe. Didn’t you get that message the other night?” I tease and am rewarded by her throaty chuckle. Maybe she’s not as panicked as I thought.
“I did, don’t worry.”
“Are you upset I talked to Toby without you? I wanted to talk to you first, but the timing was just right and he is totally fine with it, or at least he’s fine with whatever he understands about us dating.” I’m rambling and I need to stop.
“Sam. It’s fine. He’s your kid, youshouldbe the one to tell him. But I hope we can talk soon, too, I…want to tell you something.” Now I know I’m not mistaking the nerves in her voice, but she sounds hopeful as well and my heart starts to race.
* * *
The reunion between Toby and my mom makes it seem as if we haven’t seen her in months instead of a matter of two weeks. I love their relationship and how close they are, but my dad and I also can’t help but roll our eyes at how excited they are.
