I nod. It’s something he had mentioned to me at the bakery one morning as a way to help Milo exercise without irritating his leg. “Yeah, he seems to really enjoy it. Especially if we find a good stick.” I drop my eyes down to the ground under the pretense of looking for a stick. The reality is I need to stop looking at Jackson’s chest. I spy a good one, and walk over to grab it, then head down to the water’s edge. Milo follows, and I throw it as far as I can, watching him splash through the shallows carefully until it gets deep enough for him to swim. It must feel good, because he doesn’t come back right away, choosing instead to get the stick and then swim around for a minute or two.
“He looks good out there.” Jackson comes up beside me, and I’m relieved to see he’s put on a shirt.
“He seems to love swimming. Thanks for suggesting it,” I reply, sitting down on a log. Jackson settles down beside me, and we both watch Milo swim for a while longer. When he comes out with his stick, he goes to Jackson, not me, which should feel strange since he’s my dog, but I find I don’t mind. Watching a sexy man play with a dog is hot as hell. Jackson throws the stick out in the water, and off goes Milo again.
“You missed the festival this weekend,” I comment.
“Yeah, believe it or not, we had a lot of appointments that day. I heard it was pretty good. What goes on at it?”
“It’s the usual — carnival games, food vendors, a few rides for the kids. But Ethan was somehow able to get Nash Parker to play for the concert and didn’t tell anyone. That was cool.” We fall silent for a few minutes, watching Milo swim and play in the water. “I’ve been wondering, what brought you to Dogwood Cove?” I ask after a while. “Small towns aren’t normally a draw for single people.”
He gives me a questioning look in return. “Do you always say whatever you’re thinking?”
“Pretty much.” I lift my shoulders and give him a wry grin. “Why bother dancing around a subject when I’m curious.”
“Fair enough.” Jackson leans back on the log, putting his hands on either side of his hips. That brings his shoulder close enough to me to brush against my arm, and I can feel the heat radiating from him. “Two things brought me here. The opportunity to eventually partner with Doctor Morton and be my own boss, and a need to get away from some shit that happened in my life.”
“What kind of shit? Are we talking jilted ex, or running from the law, or witness protection plan?”
His loud laugh booms across the beach, startling some nearby seagulls. Milo comes back with his stick, and Jackson throws it again before answering.
“Close, but no.” He dusts his hands off, and looks at me, his expression suddenly serious. “You really want to know?”
I nod.
“My fiancée revealed to me that she had been lying for years about not wanting a family. As in she wanted kids despite telling me she didn’t. I had made it clear right from the beginning that children were not something I wanted, and she pretended to agree. We were two months out from our wedding when she finally admitted the truth. Turns out she had hoped to change my mind, or trick me, who knows. But when she finally realized I was serious, she decided to come clean. I guess it’s better that she did it before the wedding and not after, but it hurt. Then I found out my boss at the animal shelter I was working at had been caught embezzling funds. The entire organization was bankrupt and going under. As soon as we found new shelter spaces for the animals, I quit. Took a couple weeks to get drunk and be miserable, then started looking for a job. The posting here seemed almost too good to be true, but when I spoke with Doctor Morton and came over for an interview, it seemed like the perfect way to start over. And here I am. Living in a motel with my cat, working with a woman who doesn’t seem to take no for an answer, but happier than I have been in a long time. I can see my future, and it’s looking good.”
When he stops talking, we sit in silence for a moment. That’s a lot he’s just revealed to me, and truthfully, I’m not sure what to say in response. Milo interrupts the moment by coming up to us and shaking salt water everywhere before collapsing down in the sand.
“I guess he’s done for the day,” Jackson says conversationally, as if he hasn’t just shared his deepest, darkest secrets.
“Thank you for telling me all that,” I blurt out. “I mean, I know you didn’t have to, we don’t know each other that well, so thank you for trusting me with it.”
When I glance over at him, he’s looking at me with an odd expression on his face. “Mila, we’re friends. At least, in my mind we are. I didn’t tell you any of that to burden you with it, or to get sympathy. You asked why I’m here, and that’s the answer. It’s not a secret, it just is what it is.”
I nod slowly, then reach over and squeeze his hand. “For what it’s worth, your ex is a bitch for lying to you.”
“Thanks.” He huffs out a low laugh that’s full of pain. “I thought I had hit the jackpot, finding a woman who had similar goals and wants to mine. When I told her I didn’t want to have children, she didn’t even blink, just agreed with me. To find out she was lying the whole time, hoping to persuade me to change my mind once we were married, it felt like she ripped the ground out from right under my feet.”
I’m nervous to say what I know I need to say. But Jackson has been so open and honest with me, I want to do the same. “It’s weird for women. We’re programmed from birth to believe we should want to have kids. Be a wife and a mother, that’s our role. And for most women, that’s fine, that’s what they want. But when you don’t…it’s hard to convince people you’re not crazy.”
Jackson looks at me with surprise and doubt written all over his face. It doesn’t bother me, after what he’s been through; I don’t expect him to believe me right away. “You don’t want kids?”
I shake my head slowly. “Nope. My bakery is my baby. Growing up I didn’t play with dolls, I played with toy kitchens and made mud pies. I knew I wanted to bake and feed people. Sure, I’d love to get married, and don’t get me wrong, kids are fun to be around, but I want to be able to hand them back to their mom or dad when they start to cry or take a dump.”
Jackson snorts softly, and his eyes are still searching my face, looking for the truth that I hope is written plainly there.
“Honestly, I would love it if Ethan and Summer had kids someday. I think I’d be an amazing auntie. But I have zero intention of having my own children. Society can just fuck off if they want to tell me otherwise.”
“It shouldn’t be considered a crime to want something different than what other people want.”
He speaks so low, and the words are filled with so much anger and sadness, it’s a struggle to not reach out and offer him some physical comfort. But we aren’t there yet in our relationship, or friendship, whatever this is between us. He’s my dog’s vet, and a new friend. Nothing more. Neither one of us want it to be anything more. Instead, I stand up and Milo climbs to his feet with me. When I look back down at Jackson, he seems lost in thought, staring out at the ocean.
“I think standing up for what you want in life is the bravest thing anyone can do. Especially when someone tries to convince you that you’re wrong.” I pause, trying to figure out the right thing to say. “But you are not wrong, Jackson. She was wrong for lying to you, for not respecting how you feel. I’m glad you came here for a fresh start. Maybe Dogwood Cove is the right place for a single guy after all.”
Jackson snaps out of whatever moment he was having and stands up. But the smile he gives me doesn’t reach all the way to his eyes, and I can sense him pulling back, putting some distance between us and the emotionally heavy conversation we’ve just had.
“It’s definitely the right place for this single guy.” He brushes some sand off his leg, then straightens up. “Speaking of the right place, any chance you can show me that house that I might be able to rent?”
