Jackson stands up and walks down to the water, letting the gentle waves cover his feet. I follow him, because what else can I do. Pain and anger are radiating off him in waves.
“My ex is pregnant. She’s due in two months. If you do the math, that means she got pregnant while we were still engaged. And here’s the kicker, the kid isn’t mine.” He barks out a harsh laugh. “I thought it hurt finding out she had lied to me for years about wanting kids. But newsflash, finding out she was fucking someone else behind my back hurts even more.”
“Oh, Jackson,” I murmur, my hand reaching out to touch his shoulder. But he flinches and pulls away, and I drop it back to my side, trying to ignore the sting of his rejection. “I’m so sorry she did that to you, and I wish I could find her and slap her for being such a bitch. But I’m not her, and what we’re doing isn’t the same. Our friendship has always been about honesty and trust, hasn’t it?”
He turns to me, a desperate and wild glint in his eyes. “Exactly. And that friendship is important to me, Mila. It means so much. I can’t risk it, can’t risk losing your friendship by confusing things anymore than we already are by lying to everyone else.”
“So you want to end that, too?”
Jackson winces, and looks guilty when he responds. “No, not yet, unless you want to.” I quickly shake my head. “Morton is close to offering me partnership, that’s why he wants us over for dinner, I think. If we can keep it up for a little longer…”
“Yeah. Of course. A deal is a deal. You’ve managed to get my friends and my brother to back off and leave me alone about being a workaholic, so now I get to help secure you that job.” The words sound hollow to me, but I know it’s what he wants to hear.
“Right. But the rest of it,” he pauses, and I finish for him.
“The rest of it ends.”
It has been a couple of days since I confronted Jackson at the beach about his disappearing act, and I’d like to say things have gone back to normal, except I don’t really know what normal is for us. He has come into the bakery each morning, given me a brief kiss, picked up his coffee and muffin and left, claiming he needs to get to the clinic. It’s as if he’s doing just enough to maintain pretenses and nothing more.
Tonight we’re expected at the Morton’s house for dinner, and I can’t help but wonder how awkward this is going to be. It’s obvious he’s still having a hard time being around me, much less being affectionate toward me, but this is the ultimate test. If tonight goes well, Morton will probably offer him the partnership, and the weeks of lying to our friends will have been worth it. And we can start to plan the demise of our fake relationship.
In some sick and twisted way, I don’t want it to end. I hate lying, but I don’t hate being around Jackson. I definitely don’t hate holding his hand or kissing him; in fact, I miss both of those things. When he said we needed to stop having sex, I had to hide my disappointment. Not only because the sex was so damn good, but because the connection I felt with him was so powerful. I guess I had fooled myself into thinking that maybe it could become something real. Something with feelings involved.
Except feelings get messy.
When he picks me up, I have to check the corner of my mouth for drool. Goddamnit, it should be illegal to look that good in a button up shirt and khakis.
“You look beautiful,” he says quietly, his eyes traveling down my body. Even if our relationship is strictly just friends now, I still took the time to put on a fancy set of lingerie underneath my dress. Even if he doesn’t see it, I feel good, and that’s what matters right now.
“Thanks. Shall we?” I dodge his hand, needing to avoid physical contact as long as possible in an act of self-preservation. The brief kisses I get in the morning are hard enough to take without wanting more. Tonight is the first time we’ve had to really pretend to be together in almost a week, and I’m nervous.
When we get to Doctor Morton’s large house, Jackson comes around and opens my door for me. I step out, and he moves to take my hand, pausing before he touches me. “Is this okay?” he murmurs.
I give a quick nod and take his hand, ignoring the jolt of electricity that runs through me. His hand is warm and solid. Strong, just like he is. And I’m hit with flashes of memories of his hands running all over my body.
No. Stop. Abort. Must not think about sex with the man I can’t have sex with anymore, especially not in front of his boss.
Sharon Morton opens the door, and I can see Doctor Morton standing behind her with a welcoming smile on his face.
“Mila, Jackson, we’re so glad you’re here.”
It’s showtime.
Chapter 14
Jackson
Sitting next to Mila, touching her, pretending to be with her, in front of my boss no less, is a special kind of fucking torture. Seeing her in that dress when I picked her up, all I wanted to do was push her inside, close the door, and strip her naked to feast on her. Holding her hand as we walked up to the house was like latching onto an anchor in a storm. But I can’t shake the ghost of Stefani’s betrayal. No matter how much I want to believe Mila is different, that a real relationship with her would be different, I’m not there yet.
When Phil invites me out to the patio for a beer while he checks the grill, I go gladly. A few minutes away from her intoxicating perfume will hopefully let me get myself back under control. I clearly underestimated how hard it would be to go back to just being friends with her.
I keep reminding myself that we just have to get through this dinner, and a few more dates; whatever it takes to convince Phil I’m here to stay. Then we can part as friends. And all I need to do is make damn sure I don’t let myself fall for Mila Monroe.
“Mila’s a lovely woman.” Phil makes the comment sound like a casual observation, but I’ve learned there’s more to what he says.
“She is.”
“You’re a good fit for this town, Jackson. I hope you feel the same way.” He turns and looks at me, his beer in one hand. Phil Morton is a good man, a good boss, and he would be a good business partner. I know that all of these hoops I’ve been jumping through are only because he wants the best for his practice and for the town. I can understand the need to prove myself before he just hands over half of his business, even if I do think my dating Mila as the deciding factor is a bit ridiculous.
