That’s enough to spur me into action. Claire Donnelly is the second to last woman on earth I would ever want to disappoint, falling only behind Nana on that list.
I grab my bag and climb out of my car. As I reach the stairs leading up to the front porch, the door opens and the woman herself steps out.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Claire greets me warmly, her arms opening for a hug. I walk straight into them and let her wrap me up in her embrace.
“Hi.” My words are muffled with my head tucked into her shoulder. “Thanks for having me.”
“Honey, you know you’re always welcome.”
I follow her inside, where the volume increases exponentially. The sound brings a smile to my face. This is what a home should sound like, full of life and laughter. I head into the living room, where just as I expected, I find Jude sitting in the chair by the window.
“Did you enjoy creeping on me?” I tease, walking over to him. But I stop as I reach him, suddenly unsure how to greet him. Do we hug? Kiss? There’s no one in the room right now that we need to pretend in front of.
Jude answers the question for me, unfolding his tall body and standing up before pulling me into his side. “Yup.”
His arm rests across my shoulders as he guides me into the kitchen where the rest of the family has gathered. His gait is slow, but steady and smooth, and the therapist side of me preens at the progress he’s making.
“Great, Lily can settle this,” Kat announces. She grasps my shoulders and stares me straight in the eye. “Do you remember that summer when we recreated the Olympics with all the different events and stuff? Who won the handstand contest? Sawyer here is claiming he did and saying I stole the gymnastics medal from him, but I distinctly remember otherwise.”
“Of course, I do. You won, hands down.” I pause, tilting my head thoughtfully. “No pun intended.”
The room erupts in laughter, but Sawyer’s groan rises above it. “Come on, no way, you’re both wrong. I totally won!”
I arch a look at Sawyer. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure you saw a bug or something in the grass in front of your face and fell over after two seconds. Maybe three.”
Sawyer pouts. “Why you gotta hurt me like that, Lilypad? I thought we were friends.”
Jude’s lips find the side of my head, and I lean into him, giving Sawyer a saucy smirk. “We are. But that doesn’t mean my loyalties have shifted. Team Kat all the way.”
“I would’ve guessed it would be Team Jude now,” he fires back.
A blush fills my face with heat as I stammer out a retort. “I mean, yeah, I can be on two teams. Go team!” I raise my hand in a feeble fist pump just as Jude comes to my rescue.
“You’re looking a little green with envy, Sawyer. Why don’t you back off my girl and pass over one of those beers instead. Besides, why are we talking about something that happened over a decade ago?”
Goosebumps erupt over my skin when he calls mehis girl. I know he doesn’t mean it the way my body — and okay, my heart — want to take it. But still, it feels good.
“Because Sawyer’s a poor sport and accused me of stealing the win,” Kat says, her arms crossed in front of her. “And I don’t cheat.”
“Children of mine, if you need to argue, take it outside,” Claire announces breezily as she walks past us all, carrying a platter of something that smells delicious. “Or better yet, channel that energy into something useful and set the table for dinner.”
Everyone disperses to meet her request. That’s the difference between Claire and my mother. Claire earns respect with clear expectations and a warm heart. My mother demands it and punishes with her cruel words when she doesn’t receive it.
As usual, dinner with the Donnellys is loud and filled with laughter and delicious food. This time, however, there’s an added element — the electric charge I feel with Jude sitting next to me, his legs spread so his thigh is pressed against mine. He’s not shy about casually touching me, whether it’s sweeping my hair back or resting his arm across my shoulder. Maybe I should wonder why he’s so committed to this ruse, why he’s so dang good at pretending to be my boyfriend, but my inner goddess is too busy basking in the physical affection.
What can I say, it’s been a long time — for me — since I was with a man. And I’m a woman who thrives on intimacy and touch. Probably because I was starved for it growing up, but that’s a conversation for a therapist.
After dinner, we congregate in the living room. Jude settles down in the corner of the sectional, lifting his bad leg up. I gingerly lower myself next to him because that’s what a girlfriend would do, sit next to her guy, right?
I wish I could get over how weird I feel. It’s not like me to blush or hesitate. Especially not when it comes to men, and definitely not around the Donnellys. They’re the people I have always felt the most comfortable and confident around. Safe to be myself and not worry about criticism or judgment.
Somehow, pretending in front of them is just as much of a challenge as it was with Nana. Probably because my deepest fear is that when this thing we’re doing ends, when Jude is no longer playing the role of my boyfriend, it will change my relationship with his family.
Jude doesn’t seem to have the same reservations. Not from the way he grabs me and hauls me in close to his side. After holding myself stiff for a second, my body relaxes. It’s not a conscious choice, I just melt into him. Because it’s Jude.
He makes me feel safe.
As the night goes on, my eyelids grow heavy. At some point, my head falls to rest on Jude’s chest. I didn’t think I’d actually fall asleep, but the next thing I remember is Jude’s hand rubbing up and down my arm gently and his murmur in my ear.
