My hand starts to play with my earrings. I don’t want to tell him. I seriously don’t. But I also feel as if I owe him my honesty. If for no other reason than to give him a chance to back out now before I get too crazy and fall in love with him or something stupid.
As if I’m not already halfway there…
“I’m sorry I disappeared. I just… It was —” I huff out a sad laugh. “Hearing you say that stuff meant something to me. It meant a lot, actually. You’ve met my family; compliments are not their forte, especially not toward me. And guys have never thought of me as a long-term option. I’m the perfect fuck buddy, but when it comes time for something more, they move on to someone more suitable.”
“Just like Clay did.”
I nod at his muttered curse. “Yeah. So when you suddenly started telling Nana all that stuff about me, about your supposed feelings, it was like rubbing salt on a wound. Except you had no idea it would hurt me.” I hurry to clarify as I take in the horrified look on his face. God, this man, the very thought of causing me pain is making him upset. “I’m not mad at you. Not at all. I’m mad at myself for not being able to remember it’s all fake and those beautiful words were part of the act. I’m mad at myself for falling for you when I know better. When I know you don’t want me that way, that this isn’t real for you.”
“Lily,” he starts, then stops, his head falling forward as he exhales. When he looks back up at me, the raw emotion in his eyes makes me gasp.
“Lily, it was real. What I said, that was the truth. Every word. I’m not pretending, hell, I haven’t been for a long time. Actually, no. I never was. It’s been real for me since the beginning. Since that god-awful wedding when I saw your spark being dulled by those people, and I knew I wanted to protect you from it all.”
I’m frozen in place as he turns to face me, his hands lift to cup my face, tipping it up to meet his. “My feelings for you are absolutely not fake. They’re very deep and very real, and I’m hoping like hell yours are, too.”
His lips brush against mine, and the electric current that runs through me at that light contact wakes up every nerve ending, every cell of my body. Cautiously, my hands lift to land on his chest. I’m still terrified I’m going to wake up and find this was all a dream. But the second I touch him, his chest vibrates with a deep, satisfied growl.
When his lips land on me again, there’s nothing light about it. This kiss is a claiming one, possessive and strong, full of promise and hope — and truth.
Chapter twenty-three
Jude
The second we fall through the door to Lily’s house, clothes start flying off. We stumble our way down the hall to her bedroom. Then I pick her up and carry her the last two steps before dropping her down on the bed, kneeling on the mattress on my good leg so I can hover over her.
“If you bust your knee trying to fuck me, I’m not going to treat you anymore,” she says, slapping at my bare chest. I just smirk down at her, ducking my head to kiss her collarbone before burying my head in the crook of her shoulder, just breathing her in. The feel of her soft skin under me, her hands trailing up and down my spine, and the damp heat between her legs fills me with such a primal satisfaction.
Mine. She’s mine.
The insatiable need I have to touch her everywhere, to feel her everywhere, supersedes everything else. She makes me lose control like nothing else ever has.
I stand up and push my boxers down to my ankles to step out of them. As soon as my cock bobs free, Lily’s tongue darts out to lick the seam of her lips, and that’s all I can take.
I grab her hips and yank her toward me, then reach for her panties and pull them down her legs slowly. When she’s finally naked, I run my hands along her silky skin, bending forward at the waist so my lips can trail up her legs, kissing my way up to her glistening pussy.
“Jesus, Jude,” she gasps when I pull her clit into my mouth and suck hard. Her hips lift off the bed, and I anchor myself by gripping her ass and lifting her sweet pussy up to meet my tongue. It takes no time at all before she’s bucking and writhing in my arms, and I’m covered in her essence.
“Your pussy is the best damn thing I’ve ever tasted, sunshine. I want you to come all over my face.”
Her hands grip the sheets beside her as she cries out, my tongue unrelenting in its assault. I lick and suck and nibble at her lips until I feel her body tense up. She explodes with a hoarse scream of my name. I lap up every bit of her release, stroking her through her orgasm with gentle licks until her thighs are quivering.
When I lower her hips down to the mattress, my leg is aching but it’s dull and distant, the pain mostly overshadowed by pure pleasure from watching Lily come undone.
I climb up on the bed and pull her up so she’s lying beside me, still a boneless mess. When she blinks open her eyes and gives me a dreamy smile, I’m a goner. I kiss her, deeply, fusing our lips together.
When my cock is so hard it hurts, I pull back from her and roll over. “Condoms in the bedside drawer?”
“Yes, but wait —”
Her hand reaches out to stop me, but it’s too late. Shifting up to sit, I lift two of the items I just discovered out of the drawer and face her with a smirk.
“These seem intriguing.” I pretend to inspect the turquoise vibrator and black... Well, to be honest, I don’t know what that one is, but I sure as shit want to. “Does my sunshine like to play?”
Lily blushes, but the fire in her eyes tells me she’s more aroused than embarrassed. “I like to take care of myself. Orgasms are good for your health.”
“I know.” I grin lasciviously at her as I push the button to turn the vibrator on. It’s powerful, and from the way her pupils dilate, she’s familiar with what it feels like. Slowly, I start to circle the tip of it around her nipples.
“Oh my fucking God,” she gasps, arching her back.
