Kasey and I lift our glasses, and we clink them together before drinking deeply. Some of the guys decide to move the party elsewhere and try to convince us to go. But Kasey bows out, choosing to head back to the hotel, and I decline as well. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my former teammates, my friends, but this isn’t my life anymore. And where the vibrant nightlife used to interest me, now I find it too loud and busy.
You can take the guy out of the small town, but you can’t take the small town out of the guy.That thought amuses me as I dodge a group of people on the street clearly fresh from a bar, judging by their laughter and weaving gait. In doing so, I end up catching sight of a used bookstore. That, of course, makes me think of Lily. Pulling out my phone for what feels like the hundredth time today, I exhale when I see a message from her.
It’s a photo of her and Sunny. Yeah, I named the cat after my sunshine girl. A wide grin covers my face as I take in Lily’s arched brow and pouty lips that are clearly fighting back a smile.
LILY: Nice to see you finally gave her a name…
LILY: I miss you. Hope you’re having a good time. I’m at the clinic all day tomorrow, but call me if you get a chance in the evening and tell me how it’s going.
I check the time and curse. It’s too late to call her, no matter how much I want to. If she’s got a clinic day tomorrow, she’ll be up early.
I pocket my phone and look in the bookstore window. A display of classics is stuck in the corner, making me lean in closer. When I spot several very old-looking covers, I make the decision to return tomorrow and see what I can find. I don’t know the first thing about classic literature or early editions, but I do know that Lily would love this place, and someday I’ll bring her so she can see it for herself. For now, I’ll have to make do with hoping the staff in the shop can help me select something she’ll enjoy.
Buying a book for the woman I love feels weird, like it’s not enough, somehow. I’m so jaded by my past, by women who weren’t happy with anything less than extravagance. But Lily’s different. And I know that an early edition of one of her favourites will mean more than all the jewels and fancy dinners I could possibly shower her with.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spoil her with everything I possibly can, however. She deserves the world, and I want to be the man to give it to her.
Chapter twenty-eight
Lily
Two days is a long freaking time. Okay, it’s not, but when you’re waiting for the man you love to give you some sort of indication of whether he’s coming home or moving back to Montana, it’s a long time.
I paced his apartment, holding Sunshine to my chest, for an hour last night. After I stopped crying, that is. He named his cat after me. That has to count for something, right?
After texting him the photo of me and Sunny, I forced myself to put my phone down. Then he didn’t call. I know it was late when I sent him the message and I did tell him I had an early morning, but still. Did I want him to call anyway? Of course I did. I’m fickle like that.
I definitely didn’t mean to fall asleep in his bed with the kitten curled up, purring beside me, but it was comforting to be there, surrounded by his stuff, and his sheets smell like him.
They smell like happiness.
But falling asleep at his apartment means that this morning, I’m almost late for work because of needing to rush home to grab my work clothes and lunch. I’m cutting it so close to my first appointment when I finally arrive at the clinic that I rush past Sukhi with a brief wave, not even bothering to get my schedule for the day.
The next few hours, thankfully, fly by with appointments. I barely have time to take a drink of water, much less obsess over whether Jude is signing a contract with the Blaze or not. Finally, I get a short break between clients and decide to pop over to The Nutty Muffin to grab some coffee.
I regret my decision the instant I see my mother walking out of Pages bookstore.
“Lilian.” Her tone is cold as ever. “I’ve been waiting for you to call and apologize for that mortifying scene your friend caused at lunch.”
Something bubbles up inside of me as I stare at her, the woman who was meant to love me unconditionally, but instead, she has done nothing but belittle me my entire life. It’s not anger or pain, not anymore. No, it’s pity. For her. For all of my family, who are incapable of seeing the beauty and uniqueness we all hold inside.
In that moment, the invisible chains around my heart burst open. I’m free from all of the judgment and criticism. It cannot touch me any longer.
Giving her my most sunny smile, feeling lighter than I have ever felt, I finally respond, “Thank you for letting me know, but you will not be receiving that call any time soon. Or any call from me, ever. Your words can’t hurt me any longer and will never make me change. So you can stop wasting yourvaluabletime waiting on them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m on a quick coffee run before I go back to work.”
I give myself a second to watch her mouth fall open in shock. She recovers quickly, her hand coming up to pat at her hair in a weirdly nervous gesture I’ve never seen from her. There’s a teeny-tiny pang in my heart, but it’s overshadowed by the overwhelming sense of release as I fully let go of a toxic relationship that has ruled my heart my entire life.
Yeah, Mom, I’m done laying down and taking your bullshit. Welcome to the new dynamic.
With a little wave of my fingers, I walk past her, a smile still etched on my face until I get inside the café, where I finally let out a giggle of relief.
Damn, that felt good.
I wish Kat were working, so I could share with her how amazing I feel, but she isn’t. So, after I have my drink in hand, I head back to work, a bounce in my step that wasn’t there before. Now, if I would just hear from Jude, everything would be perfect.
I see a couple more patients, then at lunchtime, I finally allow myself to check my phone for messages, only to find the battery completely dead.
“Damn it!” I curse softly, hunting through the desk in the break room for a charger. Holding one up triumphantly, I plug in my phone, then quickly scarf down my sandwich before checking it.
