Instead, I’m just the fun one, the life of the party, the good-time girl. It gets lonely when no one wants anything more than a casual hookup with you. When the guys you go home with at the end of the night are in it for sex and nothing else.
It’s pretty telling my one relationship that seemed like it might have potential to last more than a month ended in an engagement...
Between him and someone else.
Chapter four
Lily
Smoothing my hands down the front of my purple blouse — my favourite because it matches the strands of purple hair I have carefully hidden under a conservative bun — I take a deep breath. It’s freezing out here, but at least it isn’t raining. Truthfully, the cold November air helps me clear my mind of the negative spiral I always head down when I have to see my family.
Who the heck chooses to have a bridal shower on a Friday afternoon?
The Chapmans, of course.
Heaven forbid they should show consideration for other people. Thankfully, I got the time off approved before today because with the mood Gianni was in this morning after Jude stormed out after his session, I doubt he would have said yes. I didn’t overhear exactly what Jude said, but the tension between them was palpable. I give my head a shake to clear thoughts of Jude and work. I need to focus on what I’m about to face.
You are enough. You are enough. You are enough.
I plaster a smile on my face and knock on the ornate door to my aunt’s house. Just like everything in my family, it’s all for show. Formal and ostentatious. Because appearances are everything to the Chapman empire that exists nowhere except in my mother’s and aunt’s imaginations.
The door is opened by an older man wearing a suit with actual coattails. Of course, Aunt Dora hired staff for her daughter’s bridal shower.Only the best for Marnie. I keep my eye roll internal.
We might have been raised together, as closely as if we were sisters and not cousins, but Marnie and I couldn’t be more different. She’s the Chapman daughter my mother wishes she had. She’s elegant, conservative, a brainiac, and a sheep. She did everything asked of her, met every expectation, followed every rule. She went to school, got her engineering degree, and now she’s working her way up the ranks of Chapman Consulting, working the jobs my parents expected me to be doing right alongside her.
Doesn’t hurt that she evenlookslike Mom and Aunt Dora, with silver blonde hair, blue eyes, and a naturally thin frame. Meanwhile, I got my father’s dark looks. Aside from the purple section of my hair, the rest is all brown, which shouldn’t come with grey eyes, but does for me. And being as active and athletic as I’ve always been means I’m more muscular than slender. The fancy-pants clothes my mother wishes I would wear don’t work on my frame, something she’s always blamed on me, instead of genetics.
And now Marnie is getting married, settling down, and ready to start the next generation of Chapmans.
Walking into the house, I hear the murmur of voices coming from the formal sitting room. Another server wearing black and white hands me a glass of wine, which I take gratefully. Alcohol makes these sorts of events slightly more bearable.
Heads turn when I enter the room, and I suck in a steadying breath.Here we go.
“What are you wearing?” My mother’s voice hisses in my ear as her fingers dig into my arm. I know if I look over at her, she’ll have a serene mask in place, hiding her true feelings.
She taught me that trick. Except where she prefers a cold, indifferent mask, I like a happy, sunshiny one that makes everyone smile.
Well, almost everyone. Present company excluded.
“Clothes, Mother.”
I shouldn’t bait her but given how long I spent agonizing over which outfit to wear today, I have no patience left.
“Lilian, really. I asked you to dress appropriately and you show up here looking like a circus act. You couldn’t do that one thing for me? Must you always seek to embarrass me?”
It never ceases to amaze me how she manages to make all my supposed transgressions a personal attack on her. Still, I glance down, as if expecting myself to be naked or something. “So, a silk blouse and slacks aren’t appropriate anymore?”
She waves her hand at my black wide-legged pants and colourful top. “Thatis not…”
I arch a brow, waiting for her to continue. But someone calls her name, and she freezes. I’ve earned a slight reprieve.
“Lily.”
A genuine smile crosses my face at the sound of the one voice I care about hearing at this damn party.
“Hi, Nana.” I’m folded into a strong hug that seems like it shouldn’t come from a five foot nothing, almost eighty-year-old. But that’s Nana. She’s strong, smart, and takes shit from no one.
“Alice, be a dear and go fetch me one of those little sandwiches while I catch up with Lily. I want to hear how work is going.” Only Nana can get away with commanding my mother like that. I hide my smirk.
