I was wrong. All freaking afternoon, he was messaging these women. Every now and then he’d laugh and show me something they’d sent him, and every time the knot in my stomach grew a little bit bigger. What kind of idiot am I, pushing my best friend, who I’m finally admitting I might like as more than just a friend, into the arms of strangers?
This is why, on Monday morning, when I get to the bakery bright and early to open up and start baking, I’m in a foul mood. And my cookies are suffering because of it.
“Girl, I swear if you roll out that dough any thinner, we’re going to be making paper cookies,” Mila comments wryly as she pries the rolling pin out of my hands. “What’s got you all pissy?”
I slump down on a stool and dust off my hands on my apron. “Nothing.”
“Uh huh, and I’m a Disney princess. Tell me another lie.”
My eyes roll upward before I can stop myself. Mila doesn’t deserve my shitty attitude, but she’s getting it. “Just because you’re all happy and engaged doesn’t mean everyone else has to be sunshine and roses all the time.”
The measuring cup she was using hits the stainless steel counter with a clatter. I keep my gaze elsewhere. Mila’s a great person until you tick her off. Which I might have just done. But then to my surprise, a still-warm cheddar cheese scone is slid in front of me. My favourite.
“Yes, I am happily engaged. Thanks, in part, to you, which we’ll get to later. Right now, let’s deal with the hangry, and then you’re gonna spill it, sister. Is it the new roommate? Does he leave the seat up? Walk around naked? Talk with food in his mouth? Poison you with his farts? Drink milk straight from the jug?”
Crumbs fall from my mouth because I’m laughing at her ridiculous suggestions, which is obviously her point. Because when I finally look at her, Mila’s eyes are twinkling and a satisfied smirk is on her face. But her tone is soft and concerned when she reaches one hand over to the top of my leg. “Seriously, Kelly, I’m your friend, and I care about you. Which is why I’m really hoping you’ll tell me what it is that obviously has you upset today.”
“I-convinced-Jensen-to-try-internet-dating-and-now-he’s-gonna-go-out-with-other-women-and-I-think-I-want-him-to-go-out-with-me,” I blurt out super quickly, the words all running together.
“Wait. What?” Mila frowns. “All I got was something about Jensen and goats?”
“God, no!” I say, exasperated, but I repeat myself slower this time. “We got drunk the other night, and I stupidly convinced Jensen to try internet dating. I thought I had good intentions, but the thought of him dating other women makes me feel…not good. Because I think…” I pause and bite my lip. “I think I want to date him.” I say the last part with my head in my hands.
“Well, no shit, Sherlock,” Mila comments drily, causing me to lift my head in confusion.
“Wait. What?”
With a huff, Mila sits down on the stool beside me. “Girl, you’re not the most subtle individual. Every time you talk about Jensen, especially lately with him coming to stay, you get a little catch in your voice, and I swear, hearts dance in your eyes. Did you seriously only just realize you want that man?”
“Ummmm…” I stammer, wide-eyed, in a complete state of shock that Mila read through me so easily. “I guess, I mean, yes?” My voice squeaks at the end, making my insanely intuitive friend laugh. Apparently, Jensen isn’t the only one who knows that’s my tell.
“Oh, Kelly. You’ve got it bad for him. So why don’t you put yourself out of your misery, andtellhim?”
I stand up and busy myself with putting away cookie ingredients before I answer. “Because we’ve known each other for so long, and he’s never thought of me that way.”
“How do you know?” Mila asks pointedly, folding her arms across her waist to look at me.
“Because…” I trail off. The truth is, I don’t know with complete certainty that he isn’t into me. There was that one kiss we shared, but then he turned around and married Tatyana. So, sure, there’s a slim chance that the only reason nothing ever happened between us was a simple case of timing. But then again, I don’t want to give myself any false hope. And thinking of Jensen’s ex-wife only solidifies my resolve that there never was, and never will be, anything between him and me. “Because he married the head cheerleader while I was the one getting sweaty and bruised and dirty out on the field. He’s into the pretty girls, not the tomboys who don’t know how to apply eyeliner without stabbing themselves with it. And if you think I sound crazy, I’m not. I just, I don’t know how to explain it, I just know he doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend.”
Mila stares at me steadily for a minute before shaking her head gently from side to side. “There are so many things wrong with what you just said, I don’t even know where to start. No, wait — yes, I do. If you honestly think you’re not a beautiful, amazing, interesting, charismatic woman thatanyman would be lucky to be with, you’re nuts. Eyeliner is the work of the devil, so that point is completely ridiculous. And he may have married the cheerleader, but where is she now, hmm?”
She raises a good point. But still, I squash down the small ray of hope budding inside of me.
Then my friend, my boss, the ultimate meddler, claps her hands. The look of excitement and anticipation in her eyes makes me nervous, to say nothing of what she says next.
“I’ve got it. You need to bring him to the café. I’ve got a good sense about these things; I’ll figure out if he’s into you!”
“No way. Not happening.” I put my hands up in defense. “Sorry, but I don’t need or want you getting involved in anything. Just…forget I ever told you about this.”
Mila’s smile turns into a pout. “Oh, come on, don’t be a spoilsport, Kell! I’ll be good, I swear. I just want to meet the guy who’s got you all twisted up. You’re so calm and chill most of the time.”
I wince because she’s not wrong. I’m definitely not acting myself right now, and Jensen is definitely the reason. “Can we drop it for now, please? I’m kind of freaking out here, and I need to figure out how to handle all of this without making it more complicated.”
“But how would him meeting your friends make things complicated? If anything, I’d think he’s expecting to meet us.”
“He is. But you’ve proven how transparent I apparently am about my feelings, and I don’t want him figuring it out until I’ve had a chance to, I don’t know, get control of myself.”
Thankfully, Mila must sense that I’m one step away from a panic attack because after a minute or two, she just nods. “Okay, fine. But could you just listen to me on one thing?”
