“Stop,” I gasp, pushing at his chest. He immediately complies, still holding me, his chest heaving, but giving me space to breathe. That restraint, thin as it may be, given how I can sense him vibrating with need, is really freaking sexy. “What does this mean?”
“It means we’re finally admitting how much we want each other and that staying away was fucking awful.”
Tension lines Ronan’s body, and I know he’s waiting for me to move. All I can do is sag back into his arms. Thank God that’s enough. He kisses me again, and I meet him, frantic stroke for frantic stroke. If I’m going to risk everything, I’m damn well going to make it worth it.
But part of me still can’t fully let go. Even when his lips wrap around my breast, sucking hard, I can only feel the heat building, but from a distance. Like I’m an observer, not a participant. An observer who’s still thinking about what the outcome of our choices tonight might be.
I try to give my head a mental shake. Stop worrying about the what-ifs and focus on the very hot, very determined man in front of me. Maybe a location change will help. Running my fingers through his hair, I move away from the wall and lead him to my bedroom.
But I apparently underestimated his ability to read me.
Ronan tugs me to a stop just inside my bedroom. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, Cherry? Do you want to stop?”
“No.” I shake my head emphatically. “Of course not. I’m sorry, I’m just… Whatever. Nope, we’re good. Continue.” I wave my hand in the air with what I hope is my game face.
Yeah, that didn’t work.
“Willow.”
“Ronan.” I fold my arms across my chest, the movement feeling kind of stupid since we’re both almost naked.
His hands run up and down my upper arms before pausing on my shoulders. “Talk to me.”
The very fact that he can ignore the monster erection tenting his boxers, all to talk me through my overthinking freak-out, is the biggest green flag of all time. Yet, I still can’t get out of my head. Knowing he might decide I’m not worth the trouble, I decide to let him into the jumbled mess of my brain right now.
“I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m sorry,” I whisper, and it’s no lie. Do I want to fuck him? Hell yes, I do. But can I relax and enjoy it? For some reason, no. Not right now. This isn’t like me, not at all. I’m not indecisive about sex, I don’t hold back. Then again, I quite honestly can’t think of a time when there’s been anything more than sex on the table. And with Ronan, there’s no way I can deny the possibility of both of us wantingmore.
“I don’t want to be seen as the girl who’s fucking a player on her team. That never ends well, especially not for women who work in professional sports. This could change everything for me, and not in a good way.”
To my surprise, Ronan leads me to the bed, sits down on the edge, and pulls me into his lap. I’m seated sideways as he tucks me against his shoulder, his chin on my head, his hands comfortingly stroking my bare skin. There’s nothing sexual about his actions, other than the hard cock I can feel underneath me. But it’s clear, he’s focused on comfort, not arousal.
“I won’t pretend to know where you’re coming from because I can’t possibly imagine what that feels like. But I swear to you, I will do everything I can to never put your job in danger due to us being together. I respect you. Hell, everyone on the Tridents respects you. And if you’re worried that would change somehow, then I understand.”
He's putting me fully in control of what happens. Whether that’s everything or nothing at all.
“Can we keep it just between us for now? Not tell anyone, I mean?”
His beautiful blue eyes study me for a second before he nods. “Yeah. If that’s what you need to feel safe, then that’s what we do.”
It’s as if he instinctively knows that control is what I need to settle my thoughts. And that realization alone is enough to snap me out my overthinking spiral of doom. I seize that control and take full advantage. Maneuvering myself so I’m straddling his thick thighs, I rake my fingers through his hair and cup the back of his head.
“You’re going to be one hell of a catch for some lucky woman one day.” Something flashes over his face, too fast for me to register. “But right now, I want to be the one getting lucky.”
It takes a second, one that feels like it stretches on too long, but then finally his handsome face breaks into a wicked grin. “There’s my good girl.”
Oof. Nope, not going to think about how my thighs want to clench hearing him say that.
“You like that? Being called a good girl?”
God, am I that obvious? Biting my lip, I nod. His grin grows wider. “Noted.” Suddenly, I’m airborne as Ronan stands up, spinning us around before lowering me down to the bed on my back. “Now. Back to the whole naked plan.”
My bra is unfastened and thrown over his shoulder one second, my panties pulled down my legs the next. When I take in the look of pure wonder on his face as he runs his hands up my bare legs, my breath catches. He’s looking at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Like I’m the sole focus of his attention, the only thing that matters in this moment.
Being the recipient of that intensity is a heady experience.
His lips pepper kisses along my inner thigh as he pushes my legs apart, settling on his stomach with his head hovering right above my damp sex. The warm air from his exhale has my hips undulating when it lands on my already sensitive skin. “Mmm. This pussy is mine tonight.”
“Yours,” I breathe, nodding rapidly. “Just hurry the fuck up.”
