She directs me to the bathroom, and I move on autopilot. There’s no more denying my fear. Nausea and exhaustion that won’t go away? There’s one very real possibility for what’s causingit.
And a few minutes later, Dr. Rhodes confirms it.
“Lark, you’re pregnant.”
An hour later, I’m back home, staring at the pamphlets the doctor gave me after dropping the bomb on me that I’m pregnant.
Somehow, Dan and I beat all the odds. Despite my birth control and the condoms we used, something got through, and now there’s a baby growing inside of me.
Our baby.
Dr. Rhodes gave me some information on early pregnancy, a prescription for some anti-nausea medication, and then, I guess my shock — and lack of immediate joy over the news — was apparent because she also gave me some brochures on other options.
Abortion and adoption.
I’ve never been opposed to either. I firmly believe every woman has the right to choose what is the best decision for them and their body. I also never expected to be in a position where I would be considering either one.
But Dan made it clear, he doesn’t want kids right now. He needs to focus on baseball, on his career, and on securing a good contract after this season. Dr. Rhodes estimated my due date to be near the end of September but said we could confirm with an ultrasound at my next appointment. I’m approximately six weeks along, assuming this little bean was conceived that first time when the condom slipped, which makes the most sense.
Who am I kidding, none of this makes sense. The odds are a zillion to one, and yet, here I am, staring at pamphlets on babies while one’s inside of me right this very second.
A little spark of life that defied the odds. A life that is a perfect blend of me and the man I love.
My hands go to my stomach, and a smile creeps across my face for the first time since finding Dan’s latest love note this morning. And I know, without a doubt, I’m keeping this baby.
Even if Dan decides he can’t be involved, that he has to put his career first, I don’t care. I won’t force him to give up baseball. But I also won’t let anyone force me to give up this baby.
Picking up my phone, I go to call him but stop myself. This isn’t the kind of news I can drop on him over the phone. I actually don’t even know how to start the conversation.
Hey, remember the first time you had sex with me, when you lost your virginity? Guess what, your super sperm were just waiting for the chance to create new life.
Yeah, that’ll go over well.
As I stare down at my phone, a notification pops up. An email about the research internship at the university.
This time when my stomach twists, it’s not only from pregnancy hormones. My breath is shaky as I click to open the email.
We are pleased to offer you placement in our fall internship program…
I can’t even continue reading. Tears start to fall from my eyes, landing on my phone screen, blurring the words in front of me. I wipe them off the phone and dash them away from my face, moving to lie down on my side. One hand immediately goes to my stomach. To the life growing there. To the child who hasunknowingly turned everything in my world upside down.
I don’t know what this means for me, for Dan, or for us.
But I do know, whatever happens, this baby will be loved.
Unconditionally.
Wholly.
Without question, or doubt, or expectation.
Chapter thirty-three
Monty
For three days, I’ve been focused on baseball. Pitchers and catchers always head south for spring training early since our dynamic is key on the field. If we aren’t in sync, everything falls apart.
The Tridents like to focus on partnerships between catchers and pitchers, believing a strong dynamic and communication is key on the field.
