I exhale and turn to Darling. “Sorry, bro. Monty’s right, that wasn’t cool. You know I’m good with you and Evie.”
Darling lifts his hand up and we bump fists. “All good, brother. But seriously, is somethin’ going on with you? I feel like you’re pulling back.”
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with Coach’s new daughter, would it?” Monty waggles his eyebrows suggestively as I glare at him.
“Shut it, Monty.”
Thankfully, he drops his volume. Not so thankfully, he doesn’t let it go. “Oh itisabout Isabelle, isn’t it! Damn, son. I heard you two were friends, but maybe it was more than friends?”
Fucking hell. They’re figuring it out. And I’m so damn tired of hiding everything. After taking another look around to make sure no one else is listening in, I gesture for the guys to come closer. “Alright, listen. This stays between us. Got it? No one else can know. I mean no one. Not even Evie and Lark.”
I look at the two of them in turn, waiting until they give me a sober nod of understanding.
“Yes. Isabelle and I have a history. We dated in college. I…fuck, I loved her. Then she left, we lost touch, and now she’s suddenly here again and it’s fucking weird.”
“Holy shit,” Darling curses. “Wait a goddamn second.” He leans forward, and before I know what he’s doing, he’s whipped the hat off my head and is flipping it over. “I.M. What’s Isabelle’s last name?” He stares at me. “You write those initials on every single hat you wear. I always wondered what the hell it meant. It’s her, isn’t it?”
I snatch the hat back and slam it on my head. “Isabelle Murphy.”
“Fuck,” Monty says, rubbing his hand across his mouth. “You still love her.”
“No, I don’t,” I fire back. “Trust me, I got over her a long time ago. We’re just friends now. Nothing more.”
They’re both silent for a minute, and another, before Monty goes and opens his big mouth again.
“Do you want to be more than just friends?”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s leaving in a couple of months. Headed back to Italy.” I can hear the bitterness in my voice, and it pisses me off. I don’t need to feel bitter about Iz leaving again.
“But she’s here for now.” Monty doesn’t let up.
“So?” I ask, really wishing he’d just let it go. “Nothing’s gonna happen. She doesn’t want that from me.” Although, that kiss the other day could indicate maybe she does. Then again, the way she ran out of my apartment like she was on fire says that she doesn’t.
I care about her enough to hope she doesn’t regret it, but she still hasn’t answered the text I sent the next morning to check in, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna chase after her.
She left me eight years ago. And at the time, it destroyed me.
She left me again a few days ago, after that kiss. At least this time, I know I’ll survive if she doesn’t want to see me again.
I won’t like it, but I’ll survive.
“Attaboy, Yami.” Coach slaps my back as I jog off the field at the end of an inning. Somehow, I manage to twist my grimace into a smile.
“Thanks.”
I move past him as quickly as I can. It feels shitty to avoid him the way I am these days. But it’s bad enough I confessed my past with Iz to Darling and Monty on the bus the other night. The last thing I need is anyone else finding out and word getting back to Coach.
At least Isabelle finally texted me. We chatted back and forth after the last game I pitched. She didn’t mention the kiss, but just hearing from her was enough.
I rotate my arm slowly, suppressing a wince. My shoulder’s feeling tight and sore, guaranteed I’m gonna need some work from the trainers. Thank fuck it’s the last game of this set against Idaho and tomorrow is just a travel day. Not that a bus ride is gonna feel great on it. I’ve only had to pitch twice on this away trip, but they were rough games.
“Did you have to throw that hard?” Monty whines as he drops down on the bench beside me. “My fucking glove still stings.” He holds up his hand as I arch a brow at him.
“Really?”
He grins. “Nah, I’m shitting you. That was amazing, bro. We’re on fire.”
I nod. “Trust me, I’m aware.”
