I smile, then nudge his empty plate with a grin. “You say that now, but I’m pretty sure it’s just the food talking.”
He laughs. “Well, your cooking doesn’t hurt your case.”
“My mom taught me. She was an incredible cook and baker, too. That’s where I get most of the recipes that I make for Seth andSawyer. Her angel food cake was unreal. I used to beg her for it on every birthday.”
His smile fades a little as he watches me. “I’m sorry you lost her.”
“Thanks.” I dig my fingers into the counter, feeling that familiar ache in my chest when she comes up. “She taught me everything I know about how to show love without words.”
Levi nods then stands and carries his plate to the sink. He washes it then sets it carefully in the drying rack before leaning against the counter beside me.
I hesitate. “Do you mind if I ask you about Sawyer’s mom. I know she died from cancer. I know the pregnancy was unexpected and that Seth and she weren’t that serious when she got pregnant and then married.”
“Yeah,” he says, after a beat. “I knew Rebecca.” And I can tell—instantly—that there’s a story behind those words. One that I’ll need to brace myself to hear.
“Seth doesn’t talk about her much,” I say gently.??
Levi nods slowly. “Yeah.” A long silence stretches between us before he mutters, “Fuck it. You should hear this.”
He moves back to the stool, dragging it a little across the hardwood before settling in with a quiet breath. Then he looks at me, his brown eyes intense.
“Rebecca and I were high school sweethearts.”
I reel back. Levi and Rebecca, Sawyer’s mom, were high school sweethearts?
“What?” I whisper.
He nods slowly, not breaking eye contact. “She grew up with us. Same tiny Alberta town, same dirt roads, same summers at the lake, same winter hockey games. We started dating my senioryear. It was first love, all-consuming, you know? But when I graduated school and got drafted by a semi-pro hockey team down in Florida, I knew it wasn’t gonna last.” He sighs. “I was moving to a different country, young, wild, going at a thousand miles an hour and always looking for the next thrill. She was younger, and I wanted to experienceit allwithout anything holding me back.”
He shrugs, “She was a year older than Seth, but we were all close.”
“Okay.”
“I broke it off,” he says, leaning back against the counter, eyes distant. “I still cared about her. Loved her, even. But not in the forever way. I needed to chase the life I’d been dreaming about since I was old enough to lace up skates and move around the pond on our family’s farm. I moved to Florida, she was still in school back in Canada, and we didn’t really keep in touch after that. There were other women, of course, and I just didn’t see the need to hold onto something I wasn’t interested in pursuing while I was out living my dreams.”
He exhales a slow breath, like he’s trying to let the past go all over again.
“Then, the year Seth graduated and got drafted to a team out in California, I found out Rebecca had followed him there. She and Seth had gotten closer after I left. Next thing I know, he’s calling me in a panic, saying she’s pregnant with his baby and he’s freaking out, not sure what to do.”
“Shit,” I whisper, thinking of how scared Seth must have been.
Levi gives a slow nod. “Yeah. You know he’d just been drafted and was still getting his footing there with the Suns, so it was a shock to both of them. It wasn’t like he stole her from me or anything. I was happy for them—surprised as hell—but happy.But I knew my little brother wasn’t ready to be a dad. And I didn’t know how hereallyfelt about her. Rebecca deserved someone who lit up every time she walked into a room, someone obsessed with the ground she walked on. And I told him that.”
A silence stretches between us, taut and sticky.
“He didn’t like hearing me say that because he thought I was trying to take his place. They eloped right after Sawyer was born. And we didn’t speak for almost three years until Rebecca got sick.”
He swallows hard, his voice dipping quieter. “I flew out to see her. Met Sawyer for the first time. She was this tiny thing, wild, dark blonde curls, eyes too big for her face. I felt something crack open in me the second I saw her because she looked just like her and him. That was it. I promised myself I’d always be in her life, no matter how much Seth hated me. And I’d keep trying to mend the relationship that was broken between me and her dad.”
My chest aches at the image. At the love in his voice when he talks about that little girl who’s grown up into such a sweet, almost teenager now.
“Did you ever explain?” I ask gently.
He nods. “I did. I apologized, too, because the truth is, my words to him were pretty full of judgment that last time we’d talked before Sawyer was born. I was mad. He was mad. None of this was expected. He heard me out later after she died, but I think he still holds me at arm’s length. Like maybe he feels guilty, too. Like he crossed some invisible line by being with her after me. It had been years. I didn’t care. I just wanted them to be happy. And I didn’t think they were it for each other. The pregnancy changed everything, and then he blamed himself for her death like he could have stopped the cancer somehow. He’s been punishing himself ever since.”
I nod slowly, the pieces clicking into place. I knew most of this but hearing it from Levi helps me better understand why Seth and he have such a complicated relationship.
“I see,” I whisper.
