"I…" I hesitate.
I want to know him. More than I've wanted to connect with anyone in my life. But my heart is fragile in a way his isn't, and that terrifies me in a completely different direction. Seth has already survived the worst kind of loss. He knows what it is to love something completely and have it taken. I've never come close to that. My last relationship ended the way you'd close a tab at a restaurant. Mutual. Painless. We hugged it out and moved on, and I remember thinking that was just how breakups went.
I know better now.
If things end between Seth and me, there won't be anything amicable about it. It won't be a clean break or a mutual decision or a hug goodbye. It'll be catastrophic. Think Moulin Rouge. Think Ewan McGregor on his knees in the rain, sobbing for Satine. Except I'm the one doing the sobbing, and there'snothing tragically romantic about it. It's just loss. Plain, ugly and mine.
“Please say yes,” he whispers, leaning closer, his lips brushing against my temple. “I miss you. I hate this sneaking around.”
I hate it too.
“I’ll see you tonight.” Because I really, really want to see him and we really need to have a more honest talk.
His grin is pure satisfaction, lighting up his whole face. “Pack a bag this time. There’s no sneaking out.”
A shiver runs through me at that. When I turn to grip the door to leave, he smacks my ass, hard enough to make me gasp.
“These fucking yoga pants,” he groans, his tone dripping with frustration and lust. “You havenoidea how distracting they are. I can see every jiggle of that round ass when you walk past me. And I’m notbeing discreet about staring anymore. Penn’s noticed. Probably the other guys too.”
That has me stopping with my hand on the door. “Would any of them say anything?”
He shakes his head. “No. They wouldn’t. But they all tell me that I’m playing with fire.”
I turn to face him, my fingers running up his strong biceps, across his chest and threading around his neck. I like the fact that I can do that. That I have the right to touch him. Even if it’s in private where no one else can see. I wonder if someday I’ll be able to do it in public. I wonder if he’ll want that too.
Having all of Seth's attention is something to behold. It feels like standing in direct sunlight, warm and total, and I'm jealous of anyone who's ever had it before me. I wet my lips.
“Does that worry you?”
He shakes his head. “No. Saturday. At the game,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “Will you wear my jersey?”
“Seth… You know I’ll be working,” I remind him gently. “I can’t wear a jersey while I’m on the clock. I have to wear theMayhemgear.”
“My jersey is Mayhem gear.”
I laugh because the look on his face is adorably boyish.
“What if my dad sees?” The weight of those words hangs heavy between us because though I don’t have a relationship with my father, I have to be mindful of Seth’s career. One that he doesn’t seem to care about as much anymore.
Would my dad care if I was dating Seth? That’s something I need to figure out. I need to talk to my dad. I need to reach out to the Mayhem Human Resources department so that when this goes public, it doesn’t blow up in our faces.
Seth’s jaw tics as he nods, his expression unreadable. “Right,” he murmurs, his voice clipped. “You’re right.” But I can see the way my words hit him. He doesn’t care about my dad’s opinion.
“Wait, Seth, let’s talk about this first,” I try to stop him, but a deep voice from outside the supply closet pauses us both.
“Brianna? Hey… Are you in there?”
My stomach drops.
No. No. No.
That voice. I know that voice.
My dad
I clamp a hand over my mouth, eyes wide with horror as I look up at Seth. He looks back at me, realization slowly dawning. I wave my arms wildly, gesturing for him to hide. His brow furrows, but he glances around the tiny supply room, hismassive frame taking in the complete lack of hiding spots. It’s asupply closet, for fuck’s sake. There’s literally nowhere for him to go.
“Behind the door!” I mouth silently, pointing frantically. I know I was just thinking about how my father will find out about this at some point, but until I know what’s happening between us, and what Seth wants, there’s no point in having my first conversation with my dad in years be about sleeping with one of his new players.
