It lands like a puck to the face. A clean hit. A deep one. I lost a tooth like that once. Didn’t expect it. It hurt like hell when Boone smacked the ice and sent that thing flying in my face.
Somehow this feels even worse.
“Okay,” I say quietly, brushing my fingers along the bare skin of her arm, up and down, just to keep from flinching. This is what she wants.
"I'm having lunch with my dad tomorrow for the first time," she says, not quite looking at me. "There's a lot changing right now. I'm nervous about it all." She takes a slow, unsteady breath.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?"
She shakes her head. "I just think we need to rip the Band-Aid off. I've always hoped he and I could get to an honest conversation someday." She pauses. "I don't know what's goingto come of it. But I need to go in with a clear head, and I don't want our first real talk together to be about the fact that I'm dating you… one of his players."
Her green eyes come up to meet mine. "Do you understand?"
I lower my face and kiss her softly. "I do. You're right. I hadn't thought about that."
She gives me a small smile. "There's a lot changing for you too. For Sawyer and her new school and this move. I just think maybe we keep this between us a little longer."
I hate it. But I understand it. And I know what it means—that I step back and let her set the pace. That when we do go public, it'll be because Bri is ready. Not because I pushed. Because this is the second time she’s asked for things to remain private, and I won’t make her ask me a third time.
“Okay. We’ll keep it private. But Bri, you realize this isn’t just between us anymore, right?”
She bites her bottom lip and nods, slow. “Yeah. Do you think Boone will say anything? To the otherMayhemguys, I mean?”
I shake my head. “No. And I’ll talk to him to be sure he doesn’t.”
“Thank you for that.”
“And what about Sawyer?” Because she’s always on my mind. Always the first and last consideration. No matter what happens, I want to do what’s right by her, and I fucking hate lying to her especially when she’d probably be the first to catch on.
Bri’s eyes flicker, and she swallows. “For now, I guess we just keeping telling her I’m the nanny.”
“Soul.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and meet her eyes again. “I know you don’t mean any harm by that, but I’m not going to lie to my daughter.”
Because Bri hasn’t been just the nanny to me from the moment I hired her. She’s always been more.
Her expression shifts, softens. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She bites her lip again, nervous. “But Seth… there’s a lot on the line here. I was never supposed to stay with theMayhempermanently. What if, at the end of the season, I don’t have a job anymore? What if I want to move to another city? Work with a different sport?”
The words land heavy between us. Even though I knew this was always a possibility, I didn’t expect her to say it out loud.
“Is that what you’re thinking about?”
She shakes her head. “No? I don’t know? I’m really enjoying working for the Mayhem and hockey’s grown on me, but who’s to say my dad will want to continue my employment contract once we meet?”
Damn.
Her eyes plead with me. “I don’t want to be another person who comes in and out of Sawyer’s life. I don’t want to hurt her,” she whispers.
And that guts me. Because it means she’s already thinking about the end. Already building distance. And I know she’s just being smart, because that’s the right thing to do, especially as a woman whose father played professional basketball and left her. She’s thinking about Sawyer and her feelings if Bri leaves. Logically, I get it.
It still fucking hurts to hear.
“Seth, talk to me. You’ve gone quiet.”
I didn’t even realize I had.
“I’m just processing.”
She rolls onto my stomach until we’re chest to chest, face to face.
