I search out Ortak—a little desperate for some intervention here—but he’s still in line for food. I’m not cut out to explain the nuances of intimate relationships with a child. The longest I’ve ever been in one was two months and I certainly wouldn’t consider it some great love affair.
“I’m sorry. I’m not very good at explaining these sort of things. It’s just a lot of grown up stuff I’m not sure how to appropriately describe.”A total cop out.
Maybe because he can tell how far out of my comfort zone we are or he’s temporarily satisfied with my non-answer, Gannen doesn’t push me. “Have you ever been in love before? Sorin has explained the different types of love to me. At least the ones his momo has described to him.”
“I haven’t.” Given the fact I’m over thirty, the knowledge I’ve never once been in love is honestly kind of depressing.
“I love my gogo. I love Sorin like a brother,” Gannen says. “I also have great affection for Moshi and Ashrif, as well as the rest of our tribe. I must have loved my first momo as well.”
“Of course you did. I’m sure she loved you too.”
He shakes his head in a slow, depressing motion. “I do not think so. No other Krijese except Kala, Sorin, Gogo, and me have learned to love. They do not know how.”
Christ, this kid is going to break my heart. I turn to Gannen and gently cradle his face between my palms. “I never met your first momo—or any other members of your tribe—but you will never convince me that she didn’t look upon your face and not know how to love it. It would be impossible for her to do anything else but love you. Do you hear me?”
He scans my face and slowly nods. “I hear you.”
“Good.” I release my hold on him, but only to draw him into a tight hug. “Don’t you ever forget that, either.”
Chapter 15
Ortak
I have stood in line and done nothing but observe Gannen and Elodie. What is it they are conversing about that appears so serious? Hearing her tell him she will remain in the Tavikhi village in order to be closer to him because they are friends twisted my stomach in a way I did not like. They made plans to spend time together, and while I am pleased for a friendship between them, I was disappointed that these plans did not appear to include me.
Jealousy is a rotting seed that grows inside people and can cause them to do vicious and hurtful things. Kala and I witnessed this nearly every turn in our old village. King Armik was skilled in allowing jealousy between his warlords to fester. It was his tool in creating divisiveness and an excuse for arguments that more often than not led to a battle between people. Yet, I can feel that very seed growing inside me. It’s quickly followed by shame, because what kind of gogo is jealous of his kit?
After Elodie touched me, I could no longer sit there for fear she would witness my cock hardening beneath my leg coverings. I have no desire to make her uncomfortable enough that she changes her mind about spending time with Gannen. His need for her friendship and presence in his life is more important than anything else.
My gaze sharpens on them once more. Elodie is palming the sides of his head and speaking intently to him. There is a ferocity in whatever it is she is saying to him. I continue observing until he nods and then he is wrapped within her embrace. He loops his arms around her and even from this distance the way he clings to Elodie with an almost desperate need is obvious.
Grateful to finally reach the Tavikhi serving the meal, I manage the three bowls filled with stew and make my way back to the two of them. Just as I reach where they sit, they separate. Elodie’s eyes shimmer with tears, but they do not fall. She glances up at my arrival and tries to smile, but it is filled with sorrow. The silver sparks in Gannen’s eyes are dim. What caused such a change?
I pass each of them their food and take my too-small seat once more. “What is wrong?”
Elodie sputters and draws my kit into her side for a brief embrace. “Nothing terrible, I promise. We were just sharing some emotions and they got the better of us. They definitely got the better of me, but it’s not anything to worry about. I can get a little mopey on occasion.”
My gaze darts to Gannen who does appear to have recovered, because there is faint evidence of the flashes of starlight within the depths of his dark eyes once more.
“As long as nothing is wrong.”
Elodie shakes her head and finally her lips curve upward enough to give me a small glimpse of her blunt human fangs. “Nope. I think we’re both good now, right?”
She leans against Gannen, who agrees with a sharp nod. “Right.”
Both take a bite of their meal so I do the same. More and more people arrive at the fire while we eat and soon several of them have seated themselves nearby and draw each of us into different conversations. Benham and Gannen speak of hunting, and I am certain there is an offer from the Tavikhi to join him, Talek, and Cecily once his skills have grown a bit more.
Healer Sage and Elodie speak on how well she is healing. I am drawn into conversation with Zander to discuss whether Kala has thought any further on merging our tribe with the Tavikhi’s. The shefir does not attempt to coerce or push, but rather shares that while he would be disappointed if Kala chooses not to do so, he would also understand. The choice would not be an easy one for him to make either.
Slowly, we each finish our meal and everyone begins to disperse until only Gannen, Elodie, and I remain.
“You will still watch from above the training arena while we are down there?” he asks her.
“Of course. Remember, we shook on it?”
He shakes his head. “That was our agreement that once you are healed you will join us at the bottom to watch.”
“Ah, well, let’s say we shook hands on this agreement too. How about that? Now I have to come over there and watch.” Elodie grins, which Gannen returns.
