Vivie glances up at me but immediately drops her gaze back down to her lap. She twists the corner of a blanket in her fingers.Fuck, I hate that she's anxious because of me.
"I swear to you I wasn't going to do anything without talking to you and the others first. Baby, please believe me. I was just looking for answers."
I'm so fucking desperate for her to believe I wasn't going to ship her off to a doctor or somewhere worse. She has to know I would never do that. Right?
"I know..." she whispers and shifts further into the corner of the couch.
Damn it. Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I scour my brain for something profound to say. "Jarek and Silas had nothing to do with my decision to research. "
Vivian's face twists into confusion and actually looks me in the eye now. The fire I see when she looks at me fills me with relief and trepidation. I don't even mind that she glances at Riot for some kind of permission, because whatever passes between the two of them brings my omega back to life.
"I don't care about the fucking research, Kade."
Shit. What did I do then?
She huffs, the sound close to a growl, and untangles herself from the blankets Jarek dumped on her. Pacing, muttering under her breath, Vivie's a vision. This I can handle. I'd rather piss her off than break her heart.
Riot leans back and watches her. What surprises me is his lack of concern that Jay, Silas, and I are carrying. The man looks turned on.
"Vivian, talk to me," I murmur, sitting on the edge of my seat. "What's going on?"
No response. For once I don't want to let her voice lock itself away. She has something to say, and Iknowit.
Treading carefully so as not to use my dominance or my alpha bark on her, I deepen my voice. "Please."
Jarek stiffens when she doesn't listen. I can practically hear Silas gulp on the other side of the sectional. This is new for the three of us. Normally we'd snuggle her and comfort her until she felt reassured again.
But I'm noticing new things now. The set of her shoulders is tight and pulled back. Her eyes are hard and angry; the jut of her chin speaks of confidence.
"Vivian," Riot murmurs. He doesn't say anything else, nor does he use any kind of inflection in his voice. Yet Vivianexplodes.
"You said you couldn't handle me! That you needed help and advice because I amsofucking difficult! What did I do?! I'm—I don't—AH!" she shouts, turning away and going to stand at the window.
Riot, the sexy asshole he is, raises an eyebrow at me as if to say,whatcha gonna do now?Clenching my jaw, I rise to my feet and approach my woman.
She's not my omega right now. She's not depressed, selectively mute, anxious, or even a victim. Vivian is a woman who deserves to be treated as an equal. She's practically fucking begging for me to see her independence and strength.
Careful not to touch her, I step close enough for her to feel my heat. "What I said wasn't a reflection on you. I needed to control, to help, and to make everything better. I had no idea what to do. Vivian, I felt like I was failing you. Fuck," I groan and drop my forehead to her shoulder. "I'm so sorry. You're not a burden or too much. I was just feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. I could have lost you, Vivie..."
Feeling her sigh makes my heart thump harder.Please believe me.
"You hit every one of my fears..." she whispers, sounding so fucking sad.
Unable to stop myself, I wrap my arms around her midsection, careful of her knife wound, and hug her to me. "I'm so,sosorry. The only explanation I have is that all of my fears were at the forefront. I'm terrified of losing you, and it being my fault again."
"It wasn't your fault, though," she denies, looking over her shoulder at me with confusion.
I give her a sad smile. "I'm your alpha. It's my job to ensure your safety, and instead, the worst thing imaginable happened." She doesn't say anything, which I'm grateful for. There's no way she could convince me otherwise. "I just want you to sleep asmuch as you want. Eat all the snacks and laugh with abandon. Ineedto give that to you, my love. I'm sorry I didn't go about it the right way. Please forgive me?"
When she turns in my arms and looks up at me with watery eyes, I about break into a million pieces. Then she says the one thing that actually makes me cry. "I forgive you. I'll be okay, Alpha. Because I have you. All of you."
Tears fall faster than I care to admit as I drag her into my chest like I'm trying to hold us both together. "I'm so proud of you. I love you. You're never leaving my sight again."
A soft chuckle from her makes me smile. I made her fucking laugh. After screwing up at the worst possible time, I made my woman laugh.
When we pull apart and turn to the others, I'm shocked to see some angry tension radiating off Riot. Vivie leans into my side, and I wait for something to happen.
Then, to my surprise, Silas sniffles. "It's my fault too. Not just Kade's. I was there talking through ideas, and you should be mad atme."
