“Yeah, sure, that would be perfect,” I say, backing toward the door. “So, I’ll see you at seven tomorrow? When the girls go back to school, they have to be out the door by eight, so we usually start morning procedures by seven. I thought it would be a good idea to get into the habit of getting up earlier before school starts again next week.”
“Sounds good,” she says. “And what time do you leave?”
“I usually head out around eight, too. Practice doesn’t start until ten, but I like to do weights and cardio before.” I flash her a smile as I reach for the door. “We old fogeys have to work harder to get limbered up for practice than the rookies. I’m usually home by three-thirty or four, so I can be in charge of snack time, if you want.”
She shakes her head. “No, that’s fine. I can handle snack time. That would be a good routine for me to get into, a reminder to have a snack myself. I’m still working to get back to my fighting weight after the accident.”
“Okay, good. Sounds like a plan,” I say, biting back any commentary on her weight. Or her body. Or how sexy she is at any size.
So far, this “forgetting we ever touched” thing is going great…
Just great.
“Then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I start through the door only to wince and turn back as I remember one last thing. “I almost forgot, there’s a green binder on top of the microwave. It has more about the girls’ schedule, lists of likes and dislikes, all the emergency numbers for the doctor, the dentist, and the Voodoo admin office, in case you need to reach me while I’m on the ice. Everything like that. You’ll probably want to get those programmed into your phone, just in case.”
She shoots me a thumbs-up. “Sounds good. I’ll get that done tonight and follow up in the morning if I have any questions.”
“Great,” I say, lifting a hand. “See you then. Have a good rest of your day.”
“You, too,” she says, waving as I shut the door.
And it’s…fine.
Awkward, but fine.
As I head through the garage, I will the tension from my jaw. My throat. My shoulders. There’s no reason to be stressed. No, I didn’t expect to be spending any part of today fighting the chemistry with my new nanny, but Clover and I are both adults.
We can get through this for the good of the girls. And Clover. And myself.
God knows I need help, a fact proven when I arrive back at the house to find Ava up from her story time rest and rooting around in the pantry for the chocolate chip cookies I’ve done my best to hide.
Stopping in the doorway to the kitchen, I clear my throat loud enough to get her attention. She spins from the pantry with wide eyes, still crouched on the ground with her hands curled at her chest.
Despite myself, I laugh. “You look like a raccoon who got caught digging in the garbage.”
Her lips curve in a tentative smile. “I wouldn’t dig in the garbage, Daddy. Iwoulddig in the pantry, though, because that’s where we keep the food.”
I shoot her a harder look. “You just ate an enormous lunch. And you’re supposed to be having rest and story time. I was literally gone five minutes, girl. How did you get down here and into trouble so fast?”
“Am I in trouble?” Her forehead furrows as her smile fades. “I just really like those cookies so much.”
“Those cookies have nuts in them,” I remind her. “And nuts make you break out in a rash if you have too many, remember? Those cookies are once-a-week cookies, and you already had pancakes this morning. So, no more sweets today, anyway, okay? Too much sugar is bad for you.”
“Grammy let us have sugar twice a day sometimes,” she mutters beneath her breath.
“Yeah, well, Grammy doesn’t always make the healthiest choices,” I mutter back, thinking of my mother’s apparently lengthy love affair with cocaine and my father’s bald head. That’s a story I really wish she’d kept to herself. “And whether today is a cookie snack day or not, you should be upstairs having rest time. Getting up and coming down to raid the pantry while you know I’m outside is sneaky, Ava. And dishonest. It’s like telling a lie.”
Her bottom lip trembles. “Am I bad?”
“No, you’re not bad,” I say, instantly feeling like an ass for going too hard on her. “You just did a kind of not-so-great thing. Butyou’renot bad. You’re never bad.” I cross to her, lifting her into my arms as her eyes start to shine. “You’re the best, and I love you so much,” I murmur, hugging her tight. “That’s why I want to keep you safe and healthy. That’s why we have rules about not going outside alone or eating too many sweets, baby. You know that, right? It’s because I love you so much. Not because I’m mad at you.”
Ava nods, her arms tightening around my neck. “I love you so much, too, Daddy. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, buddy,” I say, rocking her back and forth. “Want me to carry you back up to your fort?”
“Yes, please,” she says. “But I think I might want to lie down in my bed, after all. Iamkind of tired. I might take just a tiny nap today.”
“I think that’s very wise,” I say, starting toward the stairs.
