“Yes, jazz!” Bella shouts.
“French jazz,” Ava adds, “not smooth dinner jazz because that makes me sleepy.”
“Agreed. It should be called ‘smooth you off to sleep’ jazz,” Clover says, heading over to plug her phone into the speaker on the counter.
A few minutes later, we’re all gathered around the table, laughing as Bella keeps trying to touch her too-hot pizza, and making silly faces when her fingers touch the molten cheese. Then, it’s time for the girls’ bath and teeth brushing time. Clovertakes point, while I pack for the road trip, and we all meet up on the couch thirty minutes later in our PJs to watchThe Little Mermaid.
We only make it through the first thirty minutes before Ava’s out cold.
Promising Bella she can stay up to finish the movie, I carry my oldest up to bed, tucking her in with my heart in my throat. She’ll be five in a month. She’s way too young to be worried about betraying her dead mother’s memory or feeling guilty for being happy when she thinks she should still be sad.
IthinkClover and I put her mind at ease, but still…
Making a mental note to discuss this with her therapist before the girls’ next session, I tuck the covers around my probably too-clever girl and send out a silent plea for the universe to take it easy on her from now on. At least for a little while.
On the way back down the stairs, I run into Clover with a boneless Bella in her arms at the base of the stairs, and rush to relieve her, whispering, “Stop that. Your leg. You should have waited for me.”
“My leg is so much better lately,” she whispers back as she guides Bella against my chest. “But you’re probably right. Thanks. Meet you in your room?”
Shooting her a look, I hope clearly says, “hell yes, there is literally nowhere else you should be headed,” I start back up the stairs as she laughs.
We meet in the dark in my bedroom, both of us seeming to agree that kissing should come first and questions later. Door locked tight, I make love to her on my bed, softly urging her on as she rides me until she starts to shake before I roll on top and give her everything.
I fuck her hard and deep and a little desperately, unable to fight the feeling that I’m on the verge of losing her.
Things are getting way too real, way too fast, and she’s only twenty-four.
She’s going to run. Hell, I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
But fuck, I’ll miss her. Miss her so much. Because, “I love you, baby. Fuck, I love you so much,” I confess as my hips jerk forward, burying myself deep as I lose control.
I come in waves of pleasure so intense, I can barely breathe. My ribs lock up, my head spins, and my cock pulses again and again, urged on by Clover clutching around me.
By the time it’s over, we’re both a little shaken. At least, I am. It takes a good four or five minutes to realize I’m giving Clover my entire weight.
“Sorry,” I say as I pull back. “Was I crushing you?”
She shakes her head, gazing up at me with a look I can’t quite read. “No, I liked it. Sexiest weighted blanket ever.”
My lips curve, but a real smile feels out of reach. Not until I know… “A little too much, though?” I ask softly. “Tonight, and all the…everything?”
She hesitates a beat before shaking her head again. Her palms settle on my ribs, gentle and sure, before she says, “Weirdly, no. It felt good to be honest with the girls. And to let them know that they can be honest with us, too. Even when it’s hard. Don’t you think?”
I nod, but it’s a little too soon for relief.
The relief doesn’t come until she curls her fingers into my back and adds in a whisper, “And knowing I’m not the only one in love, felt even better.”
The bowling ball shoving down my throat vanishes so quickly that a wheezing sound emerges as I ask, “Yeah? I’m not alone here in Sappy Feelingsville?”
She wraps her arms around me as I settle more fully on top of her again. “Nope. Not even close. For a while, I thought I was just addicted to your penis, but it’s more than that.”
“Yeah?’ I grin as I smooth her curls from her forehead.
“Yeah,” she confirms. “Though, make no mistake, I’m still addicted.” She heaves a dramatic sigh. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it all the way to Friday morning without Dean peen.”
“Should I set my alarm early for tomorrow morning?” I ask as I kiss her.
She hums against my lips. “You sure as hell should.”
