Rise didn’t really know how to explain it, but there were places where he felt his ability strengthen. It was just something he knew.
“I can feel the magic stronger some places. Those are the places where portals come easier. I’m drawn to them. They call to me.”
“Has that always been the case?”
Rise thought about it for a moment before he answered, “Actually, the first one I created was the night I escaped from your father. I ran down a tunnel into the rainy night. We hadn’t gotten rain in months as happens often, so the ground was cracked and dry under my feet until I stepped outside. Waterpooled on the ground, the acidity of the rain burning slightly around my ankles, making it hard to go very quickly. When I saw a hill in the distance, I ran for it, splashing high arcs of water around me as I went. As I grew closer, it was like a low hum carried on the air until it became a steady, pleasant tone that pulled me faster and faster to it. I thought I heard the hunting hounds in the distance behind me, and I was sure Grawl had sent them to tear me to pieces. I refused to let that happen.
“Scared out of my mind, I reached the pinnacle of the hill, and without any special words or motions or anything, a portal grew from a pinprick to a large swirl I could walk through. I didn’t hesitate, figuring whatever was on the other side couldn’t be worse than where I was. I stepped through and found an unexpected paradise.”
Liv had turned her neck as far as it would go to look at him again. “Where did you end up?”
“To this day, I don’t know where it was, and I’ve never been able to get back to it. I stayed there for only a week, but it was like a dream. Heavy, juicy fruits hanging from the trees, berries on the bushes, clean water flowing swiftly over stones, the softest grass you could ever sleep on, all of this and more sustained me while I healed over that week. Then, one day, as I was exploring, another portal opened, and though I didn’t try to go through it, I suddenly found myself on the other side, back in Umbraland, where cruelty was the norm.”
Slowly, she turned back around once more, and Rise was almost sad to see them nearing the top of the hill. Although he still wasn’t sure that he wanted her to know every little thing about him, talking to Liv, even about his most painful memories, felt natural. The more time he spent with her, the more time he wanted to spend with her. He didn’t want to think about what that meant. He needed to get his head on straight. Clearly, shewas distracting him from his vengeance, and he didn’t like that one bit.
“That must have been so hard, Rise. But I’m glad you escaped. I’m glad you survived.”
He needed to remind her, and himself, that his ultimate goal was to kill Grawl, whatever that took, and that might mean using her to exact his revenge.
“Oh, I survived alright. I learned how to be as cruel as the others around me. Don’t doubt that I am a product of my environment. I’m as cruel as the rest of them.”
“No, you’re not. You’re here because you want to help your brother, Atta.”
He stopped as the hum became the soothing tone he felt clear to his bones. They had reached the top of the hill, and he took a moment to look at the land around them. It had once been lush, green, and full of life. Now, it was dusty and dead.
“You see the way the land has changed since your father took power? Do you see the destruction of this world?”
She nodded.
“Don’t make me out to be something I’m not. I’m like the land that you see. That’s what I’m like on the inside, princess.”
He dismounted swiftly. “And if you’re fool enough to believe otherwise, if you’re fool enough to believe that I’m here for any other reasons than selfish ones, then you haven’t been paying attention.”
With sure steps, Rise stepped away, and a portal opened up right in front of him. He turned back and nearly went to his knees to beg for forgiveness as he stared into Liv’s somber eyes. It wasn’t one of his prouder accomplishments, but he’d managed to cast himself back into the villain role.
Good! He didn’t need her looking at him with hero-worship in her eyes. It was better that she didn’t believe the best of him. She would only be disappointed.
He knew his tactic was working when she pushed one single word into his head.
Asshole!
19
Who did he think he was kidding?
Liv knew, without a doubt, that Rise talked a big game, but the whole reason he had truly agreed to rescue Esvie was to help Liv get the curse breaker they needed to defeat Grawl. He didn’t need to ask Esvie questions any more. He’d gotten all the answers he’d needed from Decelia. So, despite what he said, he was on this journey for Liv.
Even if Rise still thought about using Liv to exact his revenge, he was far from the cold, heartless person he wanted her to believe he was. He could have simply taken her right to Grawl. He clearly opened portals without even trying. What was stopping him from opening one near the palace and handing her over to Grawl?
As she followed him through the portal, she half expected just that scenario, but instead, the smell of decaying grass and water-logged terrain filled her nose. They were in the swamplands. He’d followed the plan, which meant he believed that they needed the curse breaker first before they could take on Grawl…together.
She wanted to shout with joy. Her instincts about him had been right. Yet, she had to remind herself not to let her guard down. Her guard remained up, not because she feared him any longer, but because she feared her ability to resist falling deeper in love with the one man who could break her heart into a million pieces.
That she couldn’t allow.
Lying next to him last night, curled in his arms as he slept, she’d realized how far she’d allowed herself to fall already. She’d wanted nothing more than to snuggle closer to him and stay that way forever.
It had scared her enough to drag herself away and curl up on the uncomfortable bench in the front room of the tent instead. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to sleep next to Rise. The truth was that she knew that if she allowed herself to experience even one night imagining what it would be like to be loved by this man, she’d never be the same.
