Pancake waited for me to get settled on the couch, then leapt up, impressively nimble considering his bulk. He climbed right onto my lap, putting one foot directly onto my stomach. I grimaced.
Maybe everyone was right. Maybe he could stand to lose a few pounds.
“Why would that be important?” I asked Roger, forcing myself to focus on what he had said.
“Because I think your relationship with Destiny is at the root of most of your current issues, and seeing a healthy pair of sisters probably dredged up a lot of feelings.”
“I fail to see how my relationship with Destiny is impacting how I feel about whatever is going on with Horst.”
“No?” He tapped his fingertips together. “You spent a lifetime feeling like she meant more to you than you did to her. And then, once you lost her, you discovered that she had somehow acquired a dangerous magical object she had no business having in her possession and that she told younothing about. Do you really not see the parallels between that relationship and the one you’re currently fretting over?”
Okay, when he put it that way...
“But Destiny was my sister. Horst is my...whatever. They’re two very different relationships.”
“Of course they are. But your feelings and experiences with Destiny have given you a need for extra reassurance. To feel wanted and included. That’s going to bleed over into any other relationship you have for the rest of your life.”
I sighed. Destiny was gone. It had broken my heart when she died, but I’d assumed I’d put our complicated relationship behind me. I didn’t want to carry the weight of that for the rest of my life.
“So what should I do to fix that?”
“Great question. What should you do to fix that?” Roger asked, leaning forward and fixing me with kind eyes.
“I pay you so you can tell me how to fix my head.”
“No, you pay me to point out what’s really going on in that head. You’ve got to figure out the solutions.”
I blew out a breath. “Fine. But I’m paying you less for this session since I’m having to do half the work on my own.”
He chuckled.
Like I was joking.
(I was joking. But I was tempted.)
“Glory, I can’t give you an easy fix for decades of feeling unworthy and unlovable. But I can tell you that it’s okay to have needs in a relationship. And in a healthy relationship, it’s okay to ask for what you need.”
“We’re not in a rel—”
But he held up one hand to stop me. “The nature of your relationship with this Pied Piper character doesn’t matter. Because whether you’re in a committed romantic relationship or just a good friendship, the mechanics are the same. Romanticpartners do things for each other. Friends do things for each other. They’ll fill your cup up, not drain it. And if you’re spending time with someone who only drains your cup, you know you need to end it.”
I sighed. “I hate it when you use therapy-speak.”
“And yet, you keep paying me.”
“Because you won’t let me quit therapy,” I said.
“Because you’re not ready to quit therapy.” He wriggled his nose. “When you’re ready, I’ll be the first one to tell you.”
For as much crap as I gave him about stringing this along, I really did believe him.
