“Is this how it’s always going to be, Pat? I’m here, you’re wherever with whoever? Having babies with whoever? And I’m just supposed to take it?”
He sat there muted. Emotionally, I was at my breaking point. The future I’d imagined with him had suddenly imploded. I thought I’d be the first to carry his seed and bear his children. I thought we’d overcome every obstacle life seemed to throw our way. But all of that was one sick, twisted delusion wrapped up in make-believe, and I was sick and tired of all the mental and emotional gymnastics. It was time I accepted the fact that the fairy tale I’d crafted in my head wasn’t going to come to fruition.
Pat’s voice sliced through the silence. “I still love you, Lex. It can still be you and me.”
“What makes you think I would still marry you after all of this? Did the nigga who beat yo’ ass in that club give you a concussion or something?”
“Don’t be like that, baby. I can’t lose you now. Not after all we’ve been through.”
“Don’t try to guilt-trip me into marrying you when I’m standing here looking at your fuckin’ baby mama. That’s not fair, and you know it!”
He lowered his gaze. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t want to lose you. Not like this.”
I scoffed while swiping a hot tear from my eye before directing my words to him one last time. “This goes without saying, but we’re fucking done, Pat. For good this time. I hope the streets take care of you,” I confirmed before sliding off the expensive engagement ring from my finger and hurling it at him as hard as I could.
I pushed back the curtain and sailed toward the exit, refusing to break down in front of him, his baby mama, or the hospital staff. I was already mortified enough. By the time I got back to my car, I knew exactly what Poppy’s words meant.I’d accepted the ring and Pat’s proposal for all the wrong reasons. It was a pacifier—a placeholder until he messed up again. It wouldn’t change anything, especially not him. I’d had one foot in and one foot out of the relationship for too long anyway. For months, I’d been asking for a sign, and I’d finally received one. I needed to slap a bumper sticker on the back of my car that read,‘Free all the baddies dealing with lying, bitch ass niggas.’
Hell, I can probably order that shit off Etsy right now.
It was after four o’clock in the morning, and I’d found myself parked outside of Liv’s apartment with my heart about as heavy as my eyelids. I didn’t wanna go home. I couldn’t. Instead, I tapped her name and put the phone on speaker.
“Hello?” she answered, sounding more awake than I’d anticipated.
“Liv? What are you doing up?”
She huffed into the receiver. “It’s been a long, crazy ass night, girl. But I guess I could say the same for you.”
“Unlock your front door, and I’ll tell you.”
“Wait, you’re outside?”
“About to walk up now. What I have to tell you deserves to be done face-to-face.”
“Yeah, we’ve gota lotto discuss.”
In the minutes that followed, I’d marched up to her apartment, slid off my shoes, and plopped down on her couch. She sat beside me with her feet curled up underneath her. “Okay, girl, spill it.”
My nostrils pushed out a long gust of air before I parted my lips to spill my embarrassingly piping hot tea. “I don’t even know where to begin . . .”
“Start wherever.”
“Pat’s going to be a father . . .”
Liv’s brows heightened in shock. “Y-you’re pregnant?”
“No. Hell no. Not me. He got some other bitch pregnant, and not just a little pregnant, like, stomach popped out, already knows the gender type of pregnant. He called me to pick him up from the hospital, and when I walked into his exam room, I caught them arguing.”
I watched my best friend’s mouth fall open. “Shut the fuck up.”
“I’m deadass serious. Wish I wasn’t, but I am.”
“So, he admitted to it?”
“Not at first, but of course, Homewrecking Holly was there to fill in all the blanks for me. She said he got her fired, reported her as a stalker to HR, and then blocked her everywhere so that she couldn’t even get in touch with him about the baby. What kind of fucked up shit is that?”
“Like . . . I can’t even believe what I’m hearing right now. I mean, it’s Pat, so I kinda can, but still. I hate him for fumblingyour heart like that! I just wanted you to get the happily ever after you deserve, but I promise you that nigga won’t be the reason you don’t find real love.”
I bobbed my head. “He absolutely won’t.”
