“Animal,” he snarled. “That fucking–”
“It wasn’t real. Not really. It was a game to him. A rehearsal.” She closed her eyes. Took a breath. “He said he wanted to ‘show me the view.’”
Sebastian didn’t speak but his jaw clenched so tightly that his teeth ground together. He radiated barely restrained fury – quiet and lethal. It should have frightened her, but instead she buried herself against him, feeling safer than she ever had in her life.
“I begged him, Sebastian,” she whispered, ashamed, but needing to get it all out now she’d started. “I begged him not to do it. I screamed. So much. That’s what he wanted. And I gave it to him.”
She hated those words. How weak they sounded.
“You were terrified,” Sebastian said. His voice was low but dangerous. “He tortured you. Don’t you dare blame yourself for that.”
“I didn’t tell–” her voice broke. “I couldn’t – couldn’t find the words. It was like saying it made it real...”
“Gods, Kara,” he breathed.
She looked up at him, tears spilling down her cheeks. His expression was one of utter horror.
“It was the worst thing anyone’s ever done to me.”
He pulled her closer to him. “He deserved so much worse than what I did to him. If he were still alive,” Sebastian said coldly, “I’d kill him again. Much slower this time. Days. Make him feel exactly what he did to you.”
His tone was steady, full of conviction. He meant it. Every word. She could hear the threat, the violence in them – Gods help anyone who ever tried to touch her again. But Kara didn’t flinch.
“I know,” she said.
And the terrible thing was... she wouldn’t stop him.
She might even help.
“I’m glad you killed him,” she confessed. She didn’t feel any guilt about it. That surprised her most of all.
He searched her face. “You are?”
She nodded. “He would’ve done it to someone else. Maybe worse. There’s no justice for monsters like that.”
Kara reached for his hand, and held on tight. “You made sure he couldn’t hurt anyone ever again,” she told him. “He deserved it.”
Sebastian looked stunned, like he’d never expected her to feel that way. She’d never expected it either. But she meant it. Cade had changed her. He leaned into her, resting his head lightly against her temple.
“I should have gotten to you sooner. I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “So fucking sorry that you went through that alone, that he ever got his hands on you–”
“It’s not your fault–”
“You were there because ofme–”
“Stop that. Right now,” she said fiercely. “I’m alive because of you.”
He pulled back to look at her. His eyes were dark, a storm of emotions. “Kara, if I’d taken a wrong turn, been minutes later, anything – I’d have walked into that cell and found–” His voice broke. He couldn’t or wouldn’t bring himself to say it.
“You weren’t,” she said.
“But I could’ve been. And that–” He stopped, dragged a shaking hand through his hair. “That thought hasn’t gone away.”
She pulled his hand away from his hair and to her lips, kissing each knuckle. Slowly. Reverently. These were the hands that had saved her life. But the guilt taking over him, and she wanted nothing more than to absolve him of it.
“You. Are. So. Brave,” she murmured in between kisses. “The bravest man I’ve ever known.”
She looked up, meeting his gaze with a raw intensity. “You want to know the first thought I had when I saw you in that cell?”
