But it’s an illusion, a complete fantasy. The job always comes first.
“She doesn’t want me,” Rocco hisses.
“Then you can co-parent. Or whatever it is they do these days,” Giuliano counters. “I’m sure Miss Bellini can see the sense in keeping a father figure around.”
There’s no way Rocco would agree to something like that. Not with everything that is at stake. I smile bitterly at the very thought.
“You think too much of me. I would never be able to convince him.”
Giuliano’s Cheshire Cat smile stuns me. “On the contrary, I think you think too little of yourself. Isn’t that right, Rocco?”
We both turn to look at him. He’s running his hands together like a man teetering at the edge of his own doom. But that resolve in his eyes, the power it holds…
“I’ll do it.”
The lump in my throat threatens to choke me.
He would do it, too.
He would give up everything he had built, those five years of excruciating negotiations, to sit on the periphery of our child’s life, to watch from the sidelines at my beck and call, only being able to see him at weekends or on alternate weeks.
Never to cross the boundary without my permission, never to insert himself in our lives unless needed.
Never to speak to anyone from the Guild again. To turn his back on Teo and Donatella, and Martino. To let go of his income, his wealth, his cars.
He would give every aspect of his life to me and our son.
But who am I to ask that of him?
“I can’t accept.”
There’s a beat where all Rocco can do is stare at me in disbelief.
“Why not?”
“I…I love him. I can’t ask him to do this.”
Rocco’s eyes fill with unshed tears. The impact of my words has a visible effect on his entire being, tearing him apart before my very eyes.
What am I doing to him? To us?
“That’s a pity,” Giuliano purrs, closer to my ear than I was expecting. But Rocco’s expression is ruining me. I can’t look away.
“I was truly hoping you would make this easier for me.”
The next thing I know, Giuliano is holding a blade to my throat.
29
ROCCO
“Counter offer: you hand over the Guild, or I kill Miss Bellini and your unborn child.”
I can’t believe I let myself get distracted.
That I let my guard down in front of my father for even a moment.
But Cas’ confession, for the second time, had completely broken me. Her words doomed us both to a lifetime of torment.
