Teeth bite into my hand as I lose all semblance of control. Her fingers scrape down my back, making her own marks on my skin. Dear God, do I love it. I love that she’s claiming me as I’ve claimed her.
I love the way her tightness around my cock gives me the most excruciating pleasure I’ve ever known.
I love that she’s here and safe and writhing beneath me. The only bruises and markings on her body are the ones that I’ve put there.
I feel it when her body clenches, when the spasms of her orgasm hit, and the most beautiful sound erupts from her mouth. I could listen to it forever, I could so easily stay with her like this, fall into…
My orgasm hits with brutal force and unnerving clarity. As I gaze upon the stars in my own eyes, the ones that cast her in an ethereal sort of softness, the pressure in my chest becomes too much.
This is too much. All of it, these feelings—the way she feels—is all too much.
Fuck.
I wrench my mouth from her skin, from where I could taste her sweat and desire, and push myself away.
It’s done. I’ve done what was needed. I can’t keep feeling this way.
Because it feels far too much like vulnerability. It feels too much like a weakness to be exploited by my enemies. It feels too much like clouded judgment.
I would have jeopardized the mission tonight for her in a heartbeat.
She moans out her protest as I yank myself out of her, but I keep putting the inches between us. Clawing away from that soft, raging thing that threatens to consume me whole.
It feels like anobsession.
Unnatural, unhealthy, unwarranted obsession. I want to lock the doors and never let her leave this room again.
My breath comes out in short pants as I try to gather my willpower. Every breath of distance between us gives me a new sense of clarity. I cling to it, pulling myself away and off the bed.
“Leon?” She looks up at me in half-delirious confusion, blankets pulled haphazardly over her perfect body.
It would be easy to close the distance again, soothe the worry of her brow, tease a hand through her hopelessly tangled curls. But it’s too dangerous a path. I can’t fuel this obsession anymore.
“You can sleep here tonight,” I manage to choke out in a level tone. “We can debrief in the morning.”
I turn to leave, grabbing my discarded clothes from the floor as I do.
“Are you…walking away from me right now?”
The betrayal in her voice is the hardest thing to stomach, and when I reach the bedroom door, the bile tastes rancid in my mouth. “There was nothing in our vows that specified cuddling.”
I close the door behind me before she has a chance to respond.
11
MIA
The morning debrief is perhaps the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Mainly because Leon is doing his very best to ignore what happened last night. But also, because it’s hard not to feel like a prized mare when your so-called husband won’t look you in the eye.
“Are you sure Ivan said nothing else to you?” he asks me again from across the living room. I notice that he’s a safe distance away.
I can see the irony in our role-reversal. It used to be me keeping him at arm’s length. Now it seems that he can’t get far enough away from me.
Honestly, it just feels like I have some kind of virus he’s trying to protect himself from.
“For the last time. He just sent me on my way.” I slump back into the couch, squinting at the sunlight peeking in through the window. “Why are you so interested in this Ivan guy anyway?”
