I almost choked on air. She smiled triumphantly. “You just can’t hide things from me. I thought you knew that by now. And I’ll wait for you to feel comfortable enough to tell me at your ownpace. No pressure. I just know whoever you’re hooking up with is better than Evan.”
Now that little tidbit caught my attention. “Evan Jack? Oh God, Mads please tell me you didn’t.”
“I did and I regret it deeply,” she said, her voice forlorn.
“I’d have warned you if I knew that was even a possibility,” I told her.
“I know, I know. He has two first names, that should’ve been the first red flag,” she said.
“You sound like Chloe,” I chuckled. “But in this case, she might actually have a point.”
“He was a total weirdo,” she shuddered at the memory. “And he was so strangely obsessed with threesomes, too. But of course only with another girl. I had an ex like that, too. I wouldn’t mind bringing in another girl if they wouldn’t be such creeps about it.”
I tried to keep my voice casual, or at least as casual as it could be given the question I was about to ask her.
“Oh yeah? Well now I’m curious. Have you ever had a threesome before?” I said.
I half expected her to look scandalized at the fact I’d even broached the question at all. But instead she just shrugged. “Yeah. A few actually.”
My shock intensified at the blasé answer. There was no shame or shyness at all with Madison, and while I knew that she had a rather colorful sexual history, I had no idea she’d done that.
“With another girl or guy?”
“Both,” she said.
“And?” I pressed.
“It was really fun. Both ways,” she replied. “I actually had two guys on rotation who liked to mess around with me at the same time.”
There was something almost cathartic about hearing her speak about this that set my own guilt at ease. I’d been chewing over the fact that I’d really,reallyenjoyed having Oren and Ronan at the same time. I didn’t recognize myself in that moment, the intense desire for both of them and nothing less.
Afterwards, I worried whether that meant something was wrong with me. But seeing how easily Mads could talk about this made me feel a bit better. There was nothing wrong or broken with her and yet she’d enjoyed the same thing. Minus the professor bit, which was another variable but that could be ignored momentarily.
“Interested in taking a trip to Paris?” she asked with a wiggle of her eyebrows. I blushed at the innuendo. As though I hadn’t actually been hopping around “Paris”. “Well, if you are interested, then I’ll say that it makes it so much better when the other two people actually like each other. Especially if it's two guys. Egos getting in the way can ruin everything so if you’re looking to explore that, make sure they get along even if they’re not planning on touching each other. Makes it better for all parties involved.”
Huh. Well that put things into a bit of perspective. Lucas, Ronan and Oren were all friends. It was very obvious that the latter two were into our little library romp. I knew that they’d be at least somewhat receptive to the idea of doing that again. Maybe more, too, and on that score I’ddefinitelylucked out.
But Lucas would be the hardest one to try and get on board. I didn’t want to push him into doing anything he was uncomfortable with. But I also knew that the feelings we hadfor each other weren’t going to be easily extinguished. And he himself seemed more than willing to pursue me.
The very least I could do was try. For the first time ever, I began to think about the possibility that I wouldn’t have to pick between them. Maybe this could be something more than just sex and fun. Maybe I could truly have all of them, in every sense of the word.
Mads and I enjoyed the rest of our time together, our conversation branching out into other topics until the end of our appointment. After, I pulled out my phone and brought up Lucas’s contact, steeling myself to send the message.
Me: Hey. We really need to talk. Dinner at The Foundry this Friday night?
19
~
June
I picked a nice restaurant that was as far away from campus as I could find while still being in the same area. But even though the place was nice with its rustic-chic and intimate vibe, I couldn’t fully enjoy it.
It didn’t help that Lucas looked as good as he did tonight, in a fitted button-down and tailored jeans. He’d offered me his blazer the moment we walked in and realized that the interior was a little colder than expected despite its smaller size.
And now that I was wrapped up in his blazer, smelling like him, while he sat opposite from me with dark, expectant eyes, I felt my throat close up. Conversation started mild and temperate, small talk that both of us knew was simply a warm-up to the actual matters we needed to discuss. And he was the one who eventually pushed for it.
“Have you made your decision yet?” he asked.
