But Oren just tilted his head so I could see the small smile on his face. He rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip. “I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy what we did in the library. Or that I wanted to walk away from whatever this is.”
Hope sprung into my heart. “So…?”
“So, I might not totally hate sharing you, June. As long as we have this,” he said.
I knew what he meant. He’d allowed himself to share more with me than I think he’d expected. And I wanted to continue proving myself worthy of that trust and of his vulnerability, just as I knew he guarded mine. I pulled him closer, held on tighter.
“No matter what happens, we always will.”
25
~
June
If there were two things the Ashfords were amazing at, it was being headstrong and driving negotiations. Madison, the crown jewel of the family, happened to inherit both traits which, to my benefit, won out on her trip back home.
They’d come to a compromise, whereby Mads had agreed to do her masters before taking her year-long travel sabbatical. And true to Mads’ character, she’d managed to convince her family to help pay for a small but chic apartment off-campus for the two of us to share. I insisted on splitting rent despite her protests. Her last fight had been with the administrative offices, and even that had been a piece of cake for her.
I was in awe.
“I think your winning streak deserves a celebration,” I said after she told me the news.
“Oh, I plan on it,” she said airily, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Goodbye communal showers and hello constant hot water.”
I laughed, more happy to see my friend happy than the prospect of private bathrooms. I looked around at our new place, taking it all in. “You did good. I’m proud of you.”
“Don’t get soppy on me, I’m planning on going out tonight. You’re free to join,” she said.
It was an interesting change. I didn’t feel like she was trying to save me from myself this time. This just felt like a simple, genuine invitation. I wondered about how her view of me had changed lately, if it matched the way I viewed myself. Probably did, all things considered. And I believed that was a good thing.
“Sure,” I answered.
“Great! I do have a meeting with my student advisor in a bit, and after that I have to run a few errands. But we can get ready together when I come back?” she suggested, giving my arm a quick squeeze.
“Yeah, let’s do that. Let me know when you’re done,” I said.
“Will do. Don’t throw any parties while I’m out, alright?” She winked, then grabbed her bag and headed out.
I grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen before sprawling out on the couch and taking out my phone to doomscroll. But before I could start my couch-rotting session, I got a text from Lucas.
Lucas: Hey. Any chance I can see you today? We need to talk.
Oof. The most ominous phrase known to mankind.
Me: Sure! You can come over to our new place right now, if you can.
I chewed on my bottom lip, wishing that I felt half as chipper as my response sounded. Those three speech bubbles struck terror into my heart with each ripple as I waited for him to reply.
Lucas: Yeah, I’m free now.
I sent him the address with a smiley face just to really sell the illusion that I wasn’t dying inside, then tossed my phone to the side and just stared up at the ceiling. I knew that I wasn’t necessarily being the most logical right now. But his texts just sounded so off. The thought that Lucas might’ve decided not to see me again filled me with pain I was not willing to address. So instead, I forced myself off the couch and ran to make sure both me and the living room looked decent.
Lucas arrived about fifteen minutes later, and the serious look on his face when I opened the door didn’t exactly bode well. But I forced a smile onto my face and welcomed him in.
“It’s a nice place,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets as I shut the door behind him. “Homey.”
“That’s a nice alternative descriptor to it being the size of a shoebox,” I joked weakly. Lucas snorted. I wrapped my sweater more tightly around my body. “So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
