“This is nice,” I let him know.
“If it’s so nice, why didn’t we ever do this before?”
It was a rhetorical question, and we both knew it, but I could detect the hurt in his voice. I cursed myself for letting a singlegirl dictate my life. If I had stood up to Livy back then, would she still be alive today?
So many questions with no answers.
“I was stupid…I was scared…insecure.”
It was the raw, honest truth. Grayson squeezed my hand but didn’t say more. I did half a turn so I could face him once again. Grayson’s hands rested on my hips, and it feltbalanced. I knew I could let go…knew I could close my eyes and not have to worry about anything else because Grayson had me.
“I can’t change the past, but if you let me, I can make up for it.”
Grayson’s eyes landed on my lips, and I took that as an invitation for more. I should have been scared when Grayson’s arms slid from my waist, down my ass, and to my leggings. It was effortless the way he lifted me up, carrying me while he skated around the ring with me.
A soft moan left my lips.
“Fuck,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and kissed him again, knowing he wouldn’t let me fall. I was about to deepen the kiss when I noticed Grayson wasn’t kissing me back.
Grayson’s curse had me opening my eyes.
“Son of a bitch.”
The whole rink was pitch black.
20
MICAH
“Huh. Not likely.” My dad scoffed as he stared down at his iPad, scrolling with one finger, his other hand scooping up cereal with a spoon.
“What?” I pushed my laptop away, the screen open to a reel of photos I’d taken of the Barracudas’ latest game. A reel which happened to be paused on a close-up shot of Grayson, an expression of intense concentration on his face as he launched himself across the ice in single-minded pursuit of the puck. Picking up my toast, I took a bite while I waited for him to finish chewing.
“That dumb cult. The New Horizons Fellowship of Enlightenment.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. “Um. That sounds like a church.”
“That’s because they want you to think it’s a church. Charlatans, all of them.” He shook his head, his mouth twisting in distaste. “Says here they want to apply for permission to put up some kind of satellite in the woods. Maybe they think they’ll be able to commune with their fictional deity. Ha!” He jabbed the screen again and then shoveled another mouthful of cerealinto his mouth, chewing rapidly. For the first time, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the gray pallor of his skin. We might not have been close, but I knew him, and he was acting completely out of character. I needed to know why.
“Dad? Did you sleep last night?” I asked cautiously.
“No!” His hand slammed down on the table, sending milk sloshing out of his bowl. I stared at the puddle collecting on the counter. “Six energy drinks, and I still couldn’t figure it out. Got a headache. Took Tylenol. Gotta get the plays right. Got to win the game…” He was still rambling, but I was staring at him in dawning horror as I connected the dots. I’d emptied out the bathroom cabinets just a few days ago, just to give me something to do when my brain wouldn’t stop replaying my fucking nightmares on a loop. There had been a plain bottle in there, right at the back, that I was almost certain I remembered seeing my uncle with when he was alive. I’d moved it to the front to remind myself to ask my dad about it. Shit.
I cut him off mid-rant. “Dad. The Tylenol you took. Was it from a plain bottle at the front of the cabinet?”
“Yes. What relevance does?—”
“Dad. I think those were Uncle James’s pills. I-I found them a few days ago, and I meant to ask you about them?—”
“You fucking worthless excuse for a son!” he bellowed, the gray pallor rapidly replaced with purple. “You drugged me!”
Only my quick reflexes saved me when he lunged at me without warning. Not even bothering to stop to pick up my bag, I scooped my laptop up under my arm and ran for the hallway, swiping my keys from the side table as I passed.
A while later, when I knew my dad would have left for hockey practice—hopefully after sleeping off whatever he’d accidentally taken—I headed back into the house. In the bathroom, I opened the bottle, carefully tipping a few of the little pills onto the bathroom counter. I snapped a few pictures, then sent a text to Cruz.
Around ten minutes later, when I’d loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen, I had a response.
