Mila went very still beside me. “You do not want that.”
“No.”.
“Then why tell him that?”
“Because they are right.”
The words hurt, because part of me believed them.
“If this continues, they will punish me quietly.” My throat tightened. “But they will punish you too.”
That finally got a reaction.
Mila’s gaze sharpened. “Donotmake decisions for me.”
“I am trying to protect?—”
“I know what you are trying to do.” Her voice remained low but firm. “And I know you well enough to see what it is costing you.”
I looked away. Across the rink, another pair worked through a lift sequence while their coach watched from the boards.
For a moment I saw Dean instead.
The memory surfaced with brutal clarity. His room. His voice.
Stay.
I shut my eyes.
“Did he let you go?”
“Yes.”
“That makes it worse.”
I swallowed hard, aware of the pressure building inside my chest. Finally, I opened my eyes.
“He asked me to stay.” Mila looked at me sharply. “In Velkaran,” I added, barely above a whisper.
Her face cracked. “Oh, Luka.” The sympathy in her voice nearly destroyed what little remained of my composure.
I cleared my throat. “I told him no.”
“And now?”
I stared blankly across the ice. I could still hear the way his voice had sounded.
‘I don’t want to lose you.’
The words followed me everywhere now.
“I do not know how to do this anymore,” I admitted.
Mila was quiet for a long moment. Then she reached over and squeezed the back of my neck.
“No,” she said softly. “I think the problem is that now you finally do.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
