Half a second.
That was all I allowed myself.
Even that felt rebellious.
We steppedoff the elevator onto our corridor.
Somewhere farther down the hallway, voices echoes. Music played. Everything felt so normal.
Mila stopped outside my door. “Luka…”
I looked at her, already exhausted enough to feel hollowed out from the inside. I should have felt relief after the short program.
Instead, I felt stretched unbearably thin.
I pulled her into a hug, resting my forehead against her temple for a second before stepping back again.
“Get some sleep,” I said quietly. “Twenty-four hours before we have to do it all over again.”
She nodded, her eyes fixed on my face. “But if you need me…”
“I know.”
She tilted her head. “Will you see him tonight?”
He’d already messaged, asking me that same question.
I wanted to see him. That was the simplest version of the truth.
And tonight it felt dangerous.
My throat tightened.
“If I see him,” I said carefully, “I won’t be able to pretend everything is fine.”
Mila’s face changed instantly, her eyes warm with compassion.
That was the other problem with Dean. He never let me hide successfully for long, not because he pushed, but because he noticed every hesitation, every silence. I could give a controlled answer that would sound convincing to everyone else, but that would never fool him.
I looked away toward the darkened corridor. “I don’t trust myself tonight,” I admitted.
The words were the most honest thing I’d said all day.
Mila stepped closer again, her voice gentle. “Luka…”
“If he asks me what’s wrong,” I interjected, “I think I might finally tell the truth.”
Mila reached for my hand and squeezed once. Her smile was sad. “Maybe that wouldn’t be the worst thing.”
I huffed. “Maybe not.”
But standing there outside my room with tomorrow’s free skate waiting like the edge of a cliff, the thought of saying everything aloud felt less like freedom and more like stepping barefoot onto breaking ice.
I expelled a long breath. “Goodnight, Mila.”
“Goodnight, Luka.”
I waited until she disappeared into her room at the end of the corridor before unlocking my own door.
