He scraped his fingers over his scalp, not for the first time that day, I suspected. His blond hair was more unruly than ever. “I know we said after the team event.”
My pulse picked up.
He lowered his gaze briefly before looking back at me. “But I have spent the last hour discovering that I do not possess the discipline I thought I did.”
Oh dear God.
“Four days suddenly feels like an unreasonable amount of time. I did try to think about nothing but skating.”
Despite my quickening heartbeat, I couldn’t hold back my smile. “And how’d that go for you?” Lord knows it had played havoc withmytraining.
Luka looked at me as though the answer should have been obvious.
“Catastrophically.”
Chapter Fifteen
Dean
“We said after for a reason.”I did my best to keep my tone even.
Wasn’t happening.
“I know what we said.” He took a step toward me, and my shoulders tightened, my pulse quickening in a way that had nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with awareness of his breathing, his voice…
My heartbeat that wouldn’t stay steady.
“I understand the timing.” His voice sounded strained. “I understand the risk.”
“Do you?”
His eyes locked on mine. “Yes.” No hesitation. He swallowed. “Do you know what the worst part is?”
I waited.
Luka shuddered out a breath. “I spent years convincing myself I could live without this.”
My pulse jumped. “Without what?”
For a moment he simply looked at me.
“You.”
I couldn’t breathe.
He swallowed. “Not specifically you.” A humorless laugh escaped him. “Well, not at first.” His gaze dropped briefly before returning to mine. “But then it became you.”
God.
Luka sucked in another deep breath. “I was fourteen when I realized I was gay. And there was never anywhere to put that. No one I could tell. No place it could exist.”
It was my turn to swallow.
His voice roughened. “Then you arrived.”
My breath caught.
“Luka—”
