But before she could fall deeper into that narrative, she heard her name. “Hannah?”
She turned to find the harbor master, dressed in his Carhartt coat, his hair mussed from a long day in full blast of the winds off the Nantucket Sound. She hadn’t seen Julien since the funeral all those weeks ago, although of course her mind had returned to him over and over. There had been something so solitary about him. Lonely, maybe. But poetic and intriguing, too.
“Julien!” She surprised herself with how happy she sounded.
“How is everything?” Julien asked.
Hannah laughed again. “Fine. I mean, sort of fine. Still settling in.”
Julien nodded knowingly. He looked like he had to head off somewhere. She hoped she wasn’t making him uncomfortable.
“Listen,” Hannah said, taking yet another chance, “can I ask you a question?”
“Sure thing. I can answer anything about the harbor and boats. I know some stuff about whales, too,” Julien said. He smiled.
Hannah laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. But actually, I wanted to know if you have any information about something called the Legacy Club?”
Julien wasn’t an actor. He wasn’t like Jim in that he could fix his face and manipulate whoever he spoke with. He turned a strange shade of gray, then green, and muttered, “You know what? The name rings a bell, but I really don’t think I can help you.”
With that, Julien said he had to run, that he had tasks to tend to, and he turned and basically ran away from her, escaping to the opposite side of the harbor. Hannah smiled to herself.
It wasn’t every day a man as large as Julien ran away in fright.
14
The truth was, Julien didn’t have anywhere to run to. When he’d seen Hannah on the boardwalk, his heart had somersaulted, and he’d found himself trying to come up with ways to ask her out. Maybe she liked tacos? Burgers? Maybe she’d be down for some spaghetti at his favorite cheap Italian place? As they’d spoken, he’d been surprised how easy he’d found it, since he hadn’t been on a date in years. And then, she’d had to go and ask about the Legacy Club, yanking him out of his dream-state and into reality.
Now, Julien watched himself clock out. His hands were shaking. He knew what he was meant to do. Just as Eleanor Pike had asked, he was supposed to call her immediately and tell her that Hannah knew more than she should. An outsider like Hannah wasn’t supposed to know the name. She wasn’t supposed to be digging around.
“She doesn’t know anything yet,” Julien mumbled to himself, jangling his keys as he walked out to his pickup. “She’s hit a dead-end. There’s nowhere else to turn.”
He knew that running away from her had probably not helped his crusade to keep everything under wraps. But he couldn’t think about that now. He was expected elsewhere.
The drive from the harbor to his mother’s retirement facility took about twelve minutes. Sometimes he felt that everything on Nantucket was twelve minutes away. When he’d taken road trips as a younger man, barreling down open highways out West, he hadn’t been able to fathom the space. Nantucket was a rock in the ocean by comparison.
By the time he parked in the retirement facility lot, he was breathing normally again. He’d decided he didn’t need to reach out to Eleanor and tell her what Hannah had asked. He could pretend that he’d never run into Hannah, that it hadn’t happened.
He didn’t want to put Hannah at their mercy.
Inside the retirement facility, Julien greeted the woman at the front desk by name. “Hi, Reese,” he said. “How are you today?”
“I keep on, keeping on,” Reese said, winking. Julien was aware that she flirted with him, that she wanted him to ask her out on a date. But Julien kept his distance, recognizing that their combined loneliness wouldn’t make them good partners.
He kept walking all the way back to his mother’s suite, where she’d lived for the better part of three years. En route, he passed by several of his mother’s friends, people she played cards with, listened to music with, and watched television with. They adored him, but they also worried about him. On this trek alone, two women asked if he was dating anyone. Julien knew that they didn’t do that when Julien’s sisters came to visit. They were married and “happy,” at least in the eyes of the other residents.
Nora Mansfield sat in front of her television, knitting a blue blanket. She looked happy, elegant, and thoughtful. Julien almost didn’t want to bother her. But a floorboard beneathhim creaked, and Nora turned to find him. “Oh, honey. You’re visiting again?” Nora thought he came by too often. She wanted him to build his own life, to have children, to dig deeper into the world she’d given him when she’d given birth to him by C-section forty-two years ago.
For a little while, they caught up. Nora wasn’t always as sharp as she’d once been, and her memory was ragged in parts, which meant they had a lot of the same conversations. She told him twice about a woman down the hall who kept cheating at cards. She also talked about the man she was dating, whom she called a “young man,” even though he was only two years her junior. Julien had met him a few times. He lived in a different wing of the retirement home and seemed to really like Nora. Julien was pleased that she’d found happiness, even as the world began to fade around her, bit by bit.
Eventually, Nora said she wanted to go down the hall for some ice cream. Julien and Nora walked together, though Nora was moving slower than usual because her hip was bothering her. Julien was careful not to make any quick movements. When they reached the dining room, Nora made sure to walk around and greet everyone there, touching their hands and saying, “You know my son, don’t you? He’s back, and he wants some ice cream, so we’re going to have ice cream.”
Julien knew that she was too self-conscious and body-conscious to ever admit she wanted ice cream. Of course, it was always her idea.
At the little window, they ordered two scoops of vanilla each, then sat down at a table by themselves. Julien was quiet for a moment, eavesdropping on the other residents. Many of them were talking about their children, other residents, and drama within the home. Sometimes the retirement facility seemed to have more drama and intrigue than most television shows.Julien liked that about it. He thought community was important for his mother, especially after everything she’d been through.
Eleanor’s voice rang through his mind.You owe us. He shivered. He hated being spoken to like that. But Eleanor did as she pleased.
Suddenly, with her spoon poised above her ice cream, Nora leaned toward Julien conspiratorially. “I heard what happened,” she said.
