1816 – London
Chapter One
HARRIET LOATHED DANCING.MORE ACCURATELY, SHE LOATHEDwatching people dance. Which is what she normally did at balls. There were so many better uses of her time, like reading, or sending words to Mr. Dawkins, or keeping her sisters away from their father, or their father away from the gambling tables. Normally, the prospect of leaving for a ball within the half hour would have her filled with dread.
The few times she had danced, mostly during her debut season, had proved disastrous. Unfortunately, as the eldest unmarried daughter of the Earl of Tidewell, dancing—or observing dances—was to be her lot in life for a little while longer. It was as unspoken as it was obvious that Harriet was not likely to marry after five unsuccessful seasons, but no one had any definitive answers for when she might be allowed to beg off the charade.
Harriet would have gladly married the nearest available man simply to get out of attending balls; however, this was not an option available to her. Her elder sister, Philippa, had already strained the bounds of propriety with her marriage six years ago, and was now, as a widow,further testing society’s limits. Any damage Philippa hadn’t done to the Bancroft family’s reputation, their father had taken care of.
Of course, this overlooked the chief reason Harriet didn’t just marry the first man she brushed past at a ball: Gentlemen always seemed to have better options about, and those options were so often her own sisters. When coerced into attendance, Harriet spent balls holding wineglasses and eyeglasses, lending a hairpin or mending a hem, watching as Philippa and Caroline danced with and dazzled haute society.
But tonight was going to be different. Oh god, she hoped it would be different. According to his latest letter, Mr. Dawkins had arrived from Oxford last week and was to be at the Dunley ball. Lady Dunley took pride in just how full her ballroom could get and didn’t mind inviting a few non-peers if it meant that the season started with a crush. Tonight was about one thing, and one thing only:
“Your breasts,” Philippa said.
“My what?” Harriet sputtered, stiffening in her seat at Philippa’s—rarely used—davenport desk. She had arrived at her sister’s house dressed in her best gown, ready to leave for the ball, only to find that Philippa had not even begun her preparations.Typical. Caroline, already too beautiful for anyone’s own good, was taking advantage of Philippa’s well-trained lady’s maids and her large stock of hair ribbons and baubles.
“Oh, I do beg your pardon, would you prefer another term?” Philippa drawled, as she was being helped into a pair of silk stockings—atask which Harriet felt didn’t necessitate assistance. “What other words are there for them?”
Harriet almost answered—bosomwas not unheard of,décolletageif you were feeling French,boobyif you were being naughty, and apparentlydairy, although that felt quite vulgar indeed;globes,apples,paps—but most people, including her sisters, weren’t actually interested in words.
Mr. Dawkins was, though. Whatever time was left over after running the household for their father—begging servants not to leave, writing them glowing letters of recommendation in her father’s hand, learning to mend and sweep and wash and cook in their stead, bargaining with the butcher and flattering the fishmonger—Harriet devoted to the dictionary. The dictionary of slang and cant words she and Mr. Dawkins had been working on for months, though they’d never met.
“Well, what about them?” Harriet grumbled, trying not to sound as irritable or as interested as she was. Her sister did know something about enticing men.
“Like me, you have been blessed.” From the floor, where she knelt smoothing skirts, one of Philippa’s maids, Gertie, snorted. Philippa continued, ignoring her. “Yet you keep them completely hidden!” Harriet fought back an unladylike groan. This again. Another lecture from her sister about her appearance.
“She’s right, you know.” This came quietly from Caroline, who sat across the room having her hair expertly curled by another maid in Philippa’s employ.
“Not you too,” Harriet moaned.
Philippa twisted her entire body toward Harriet, thwarting Gertie’s attempts to fasten a string of pearls around her neck. “Harriet! I’m quite serious!”
Caroline continued without moving an inch, ever the embodiment of grace. “Harriet, you know how rare it is that I agree with Philippa, but if you are to garner any attention at all tonight from your Mr. Dawkins—”
From Philippa’s bed, where she was reading outdated scandal sheets, their youngest sister, Frances, sat bolt upright. “Mr. Dawkins will be there? This is the first ball I’ve ever been sorry to miss!”
“I don’t think Mr. Dawkins is interested in my … breasts,” Harriet informed the room, reaching up to pat at her modest low bun. Still pinned in place. Still simple.
Everyone grew silent. Harriet finally looked around. “What?”
Philippa and Gertie screamed with laughter. Frances looked at her like she was the biggest cabbagehead imaginable. Even Caroline’s lips twitched with mirth.
“My dear,” Philippa said sagely, as if she were thirteen years rather than thirteen months older than Harriet, “I can assure you Mr. Dawkins ismostinterested in your breasts.”
“He doesn’t know they exist,” Frances said from the bed, not looking up from her periodical. “Did you know that the Duke of Waverly has fathered a child with an opera singer?”
“Frances, that sheet is from January, we all know, and of course Mr. Dawkins knows she has breasts!”
“Can we all stop talking about this? Please?” Harriet begged. Everyone ignored her, as usual.
“Father doesn’t allow us to buy scandal sheets, Philippa! So how would I know? You get to have all the fun!” Frances continued. “And Harriet signs all her letters to Mr. Dawkins as H. M. Bancroft. He has no idea that the person who has been writing to him has breasts. Or that she’s been pining after him.”
“I have not been pining—” Harriet began.
“Yes, you have.” Philippa cut her off, sizing up her appearance in the mirror. It was, as ever, to her satisfaction.
“Does he really not know that you’re a woman?” Caroline asked. There was something so sweet, so pure about Caroline that Harriet felt she must always give her the truth.
